So, awkward text message received from a new colleague!

[MaureenMLove]

Just got a text message from a colleague saying she was sorry she couldn't make it tonight, but she hopes we all have fun!

So it seems the ladies that I line manage are all going out tonight for a Christmas bash. Funny, no one mentioned it to me!

I didn't think there was any reason why I would be excluded, but clearly I'm not as well liked by them as I thought!

WWYD though, just ignore it or text one of the others wishing them a lovely evening? I have replied to the text message just saying I hope she has a nice Xmas and get well soon. Didn't mention that I didn't know anything about the night out. I don't want her to feel bad, it's not her fault - she's new!

Don't do anything. Would you normally go out with people you line manage?

How do you know that's what the text is about? Perhaps she intended to text a friend?

No, It was definitely for me. Too personal not to be. We are a close team and I've always usually been included with anything we do. Not that it happens very often, we can never all agree a time and date.

It's difficult to explain really. My inner child wants to send a group text to say have a great evening, but I'm not a child, so I won't!

Guess I'm not flavour of the month! Hey ho. I will carry on and hold my head high. (And give them all shit jobs - JOKE!!)

I didn't get invited out for our team Christmas do either. Let's go for a drink together!

No, don't do anything x

They probably just want to have some fun without the boss being there. I know it probably feels shit for you but I imagine a lot of workplaces would be similar.

I was never invited when I managed a department - tbh it's difficult to socialise with people who work for you, I tended to socialise to peer group ie other managers instead

You should probably let them know that she can't make it though? Can you just text one of them and say 'X only had my number and she messaged to say she's sorry she can't make it, just wanted to let you is. Have a great time, see you back at work after Christmas'. Or similar.

To let you know.

Lol! You're on MotherofFlagons - lets drink!

Tbh, they're not really the sort of people I want to go out with! I have friends to go out with, not colleagues. Colleagues are for working with!

I bet they all avoid putting things on Facebook too!

I'm just their line manager. There's not a whole lot of difference between my job and theirs tbh. I am not that important!

The text said she'd spoken to some else, so they know she's not going.

So difficult to judge from the outside I suppose, but there really is no reason why I wouldn't be included, other than they don't like me very much! .

Maureen, I really like my line manager, I hope we will stay in touch for life.

But I can see why people want a night out sans manager. I don't socialise with work at all outside office hours, a blanket solution to this kind of thing. Don't feel bad, they may well like and respect you a great deal.

Well one of them obviously assumed you were going, so it was hardly a group decision to leave you out... Are you sure you didn't miss a memo somewhere along the line??

No, no memo. This goes deeper, I'm sure.

Im really not the sort of line managed that gets left out, unless there's something deeper. I've worked with them all for 7 years and been out other times.

I think someone has been invited that used to work under me at our place and she was difficult for many reasons. We maintained a working relationship let's say!

Anyway, I'm not that bothered, the question was really WWYD in response to the text. And the answer is not flame anything or spoil their evening.

I shall remain as always, professional - which is probably not what is happening where they are right now! .

I always refused invitations as a line manager. It actually made them more determined to get me out for an evening! When I did, it was fun and they were able to relax but for me, I felt like I had to be on my best behaviour, so I really didn't want to go!

Maureen, indeed, do nothing.