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Original poster

Instant coffee - social suicide?

130 replies

MrsFogi · 16/11/2015 22:45

Over a number of months I've seen many threads expressing horror at the idea of drinking or serving instant coffee. So….I've become a bit paranoid. So mners - if I have a mum in for a cup of tea/coffee when they pick up their dc from my house am I committing social harakiri serving up instant coffee if they opt for that instead of tea? If I want to have or keep friends should I be brewing/grinding/working out how to use the coffee machine etc with a flourish?

OP posts:

Sparklingbrook · 17/11/2015 12:08

Haven't tasted UHT milk (well not knowingly) for a while I don't think. I will put it on the ever growing list of no-nos courtesy of MN .

harryhausen · 17/11/2015 12:09

I'm weird (according MN anyway) as I prefer instant coffee to ground coffee at home. I drink Barristers Americano. I love it.

Sometimes if I offer people coffee I say "it's only instant is that ok?". I've never had one person say no.

celtictoast · 17/11/2015 12:10

Social suicide is the guest who turns up their nose at what is on offer IMO - you don't like instant, ask for tea, or a glass of water, whatever.

This.

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Sparklingbrook · 17/11/2015 12:13

I have never had anybody round and said 'Would you like a coffee' and them ask 'What sort is it?' Does that really happen?

chibsortig · 17/11/2015 12:17

I dont mind certain brands of instant and have many kinds plus real coffee in the house. Tea i just have one main brand of t-bag and then several flavours of green tea. Sorry I dont cater to tea snobs as i dont drink it so it would go to waste unless i had a regular visitor then i'd buy for them. I dont expect anyone to go out of their way to accommodate my coffee drinking habits.
I much prefer instant to tassimo coffee though thats just nasty.
I think for the most part is people who dont drink coffee cant make it.
Always add milk before the hot water if they take milk if not wait for a few minutes before pouring the water from the kettle on to the coffee. Boiling water scalds/burns the coffee making it revolting.
I'd think it rude if someone turned up with a flask of coffee, thats just odd.

TantrumsAndBalloons · 17/11/2015 12:19

I have one of those poncey grind and brew machines because I drink far too much coffee.
I prefer the taste but I have never in my life asked anyone if their coffee is "real" or instant.
Far too much coffee angst.

mercifulTehlu · 17/11/2015 12:19

I don't really like instant coffee. I'd only choose to drink it if I were desperate for a hot drink and there was nothing else. In someone else's house whose coffee habits I didn't know, I'd always opt for tea.

But, if someone served me instant coffee or offered it as the only option, I genuinely wouldn't judge them and wouldn't dream of being so rude as to comment or get out a flask!

chemenger · 17/11/2015 12:21

I think of instant and "real" coffee as different drinks, I like both and would happily drink either. I really don't like the taste of UHT in either drink, I would drink coffee black in preference. I also don't like cream in coffee, though that seems to have gone out of fashion. I'm not that keen on cafetiere coffee for some reason, it always seems thin compared to filter or espresso based drinks. At a friend's house I drink whatever is given to me, even tea which has a terrible effects on my digestion.

chemenger · 17/11/2015 12:24

I don't like it when people put the milk in before the water with instant, that gives a taste of scalded milk which is nasty.

Branleuse · 17/11/2015 12:24

I always say "sorry ive only got instant in at the moment, is that ok?"

You can always pretend you only have it because you dont drink much coffee

I actually only drink instant at the moment because fresh coffee makes me jittery and anxious, especially if i drink the whole cafetiere, which i will do if i make it

Sadik · 17/11/2015 12:37

Frankly, your friends should be grateful you have coffee at all . . . I had a friend staying for two days before he cracked and (very politely) asked if I'd mind if he bought some coffee as he was getting withdrawal symptoms. Now I try to remember if I have people staying, and buy some coffee beforehand

If you have a freezer, btw, then both ground coffee and unground beans freeze, & you can just shake out & defrost what you need. I used to drink gallons of coffee pre dc (made me sick during pregnancy, and I've never got over it, hence none in the house as it also gives DH migraines) and I used to buy bulk & freeze it.

NickNacks · 17/11/2015 12:45

I don't drink coffee so I'm not going out and buying all the stuff for it. Instant if you're lucky here I'm afraid!

Alexjoy · 17/11/2015 12:48

Love coffee. Drink way too much much.

Instant is good, though there are some brands that are really not good.
Favourite chez moi is a cafetiere.

Like the pod things but find its never hot enough.

Nero, Costa etc are like my second home when I'm back in the UK, Starbucks etc just doesn't cut it like they do.

Best coffee ever was at Naples airport, served in a tiny cup, biscotti on the side, gorgeous swarthy Italian waiter. Sigh. (looks outside at the rain)

PurpleHairAndPearls · 17/11/2015 13:04

I bought a tin of instant at the weekend as I'm hosting lots of meetings at my home ATM, and with a tassimo machine it was taking ages to make coffees for everyone

I chose Azera as it had good reviews on the brands thread recently. I hope they're not all judging me now! Maybe I should have bought a cafetière instead...

Growing up, my mother always bought instant coffee and biscuits and big pottery mugs especially for the gardeners/workmen to use - I'm fretting now that I'm turning into my mother!----

LaContessaDiPlump · 17/11/2015 15:14

DH used to sneer at instant coffee, which both my parents guzzled like water. I started buying fucking expensive instant espresso powder for baking purposes and you can just imagine my face when I opened the cupboard to discover he'd guzzled the lot. "It was much nicer than instant", was his defence

The moral is, buy instant espresso powder and they won't notice the difference!

MustBeThursday · 17/11/2015 15:27

I'd find it rude if someone looked down on me for serving instant coffee. People who drink coffee would hate my house - we only have decaf instant! I don't drink coffee at all, and DH only drinks decaf. Is that a double social suicide?

As an aside, I am a tea fiend, so we have decaf tea, regular tea, some loose leaf English breakfast, and a couple of different fruit tea things that I have been given, although I don't drink them generally. I'm just happy to have a cuppa made for me! Although I won't drink Earl Grey, but I don't think that is quite the same as instant v. fresh coffee...

What about hot chocolate? Are there rules for that too? prepares to hide instant hot choc

troubleatmillcock · 17/11/2015 15:36

I have to admit to taking a cafetiere camping with me. And me and DH had one with us when we did our camper van stint.

If we are going to be at BIL's for a few days I do take the Bodum and ground coffee as they don't drink it at theirs.

When my parents come I buy instant for them as they drink it constantly. I drink it sometimes, it's good as it isn't too strong.

BoomBoomsCousin · 17/11/2015 17:10

I don't really like instant but I would neither turn down a cup nor look down on some one who served it (I might request tea if I realised before I'd said yes to coffee though). It's a preference not sign of holiness. Anyway, you're in good company, 3/4 of the coffee in the UK is instant according to the BBC.

LikeASoulWithoutAMind · 17/11/2015 17:54

This is a bit of a thing among a certain group of women I know. I find it all rather tedious if I'm honest. And rude.

I think if you are at someone's house then you accept their hospitality gratefully. I've got friends who are (by their own admission) terrible cooks or who serve wine I wouldn't choose myself. I wouldn't dream of taking my own food and while I would always take wine, drink whatever they open.

Having said that, I try and avoid caffeine where possible (apart from one cup of coffee in the morning) so often ask for a glass of water if no decaf available. I hope that doesn't appear rude as there are good reasons for it.

BadlyBehavedShoppingTrolley · 17/11/2015 19:46

If someone offers me tea or coffee I usually ask straight 'is it instant or fresh?' If it's instant I'll have tea.

You can call it snobbery if you like, but I just don't like instant coffee. My sister is the opposite and doesn't like fresh.

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeG0es · 17/11/2015 20:39

I think the whole "my friends don't mind if I refuse to drink their instant coffee" thing is a bit of a red herring. They don't mind the rude behaviour because it is someone who is a close friend, and presumably the friendship is too important to cause ructions over coffee. It's the same as people who are always running late and say their friends don't mind, they probably shrug it off as they are very fond of you, but it's still rude behaviour.

trixymalixy · 17/11/2015 20:44

I don't drink instant coffee, so would always ask for tea at someone's house if I didn't know whether the coffee would be instant or not. If I was served instant I would drink it to be polite, I would never be rude enough to turn my nose up at it.

Jftbo74 · 17/11/2015 20:48

Who - what people see as rude varies hugely. What's rude for some isn't rude for others. I'm a very tolerant person and tend to see the best in others. It would take much much more then refusing instant coffee to upset me

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeG0es · 17/11/2015 20:50

It wouldn't upset me either, but I still wouldn't dream of doing it to someone else.

SwedishEdith · 17/11/2015 20:54

I'm in the I'll drink whatever coffee I'm offered and find it a less risky option that other people making tea. I prefer fresh but just wouldn't comment at all if given instant.

And I can understand why people make instant instead of fresh as it's much cheaper. A bag of coffee beans = £3.50? That'll last less than a week in our house. But, a jar of instant has, what, 40 cups?

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