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Original poster

Instant coffee - social suicide?

130 replies

MrsFogi · 16/11/2015 22:45

Over a number of months I've seen many threads expressing horror at the idea of drinking or serving instant coffee. So….I've become a bit paranoid. So mners - if I have a mum in for a cup of tea/coffee when they pick up their dc from my house am I committing social harakiri serving up instant coffee if they opt for that instead of tea? If I want to have or keep friends should I be brewing/grinding/working out how to use the coffee machine etc with a flourish?

OP posts:

expatinscotland · 16/11/2015 23:27

Millicano and Azira are alright.

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeG0es · 16/11/2015 23:31

Agree with Expat. Some of my closest friends make bloody awful tea (I try and remember to ask for coffee at their houses and don't mind if it's instant). I wouldn't dream of bringing my own or criticising theirs.

Jftbo74 · 16/11/2015 23:40

Happy to share my thermos as long as you share your cake sparklingbrook

My parents and IL's do Nescafé and I take my own cafetiere with me when I visit. I'd miss my morning coffees otherwise. I also give them a bottle or two of vino. for putting up with me.

I'm spolit at friends houses - lots of beverage choice, something to suit everyone. I wouldn't complain if there wasn't coffee but I would have find a way to smuggle it in next visit. . Maybe I would graciously accept the instant coffee, quietly feed it to the rubber plant in the corner, secretly top up my mug from a hidden thermos flask?

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Jftbo74 · 16/11/2015 23:44

Expat I would never say 'I don't drink instant tea', then whip my flask out.

Original poster

MrsFogi · 16/11/2015 23:49

Oh dear it hadn't even occurred to me that tea was a minefield too

OP posts:

Jftbo74 · 16/11/2015 23:51

Social suicide in my group of friends would be much much much more serious then drinking a flask of coffee in someone's house. We are good friends and very supportive/close/accepting/openly silly.

ICantSpellNoffink · 17/11/2015 00:04

I like instant coffee and I like fresh coffee. I have both in my house.

I like Alta Rica.

None of my friends seem mind if they are served instant or fresh and I'm sure they are not saying that to be polite as I offer them the choice.

Shetland · 17/11/2015 09:54

I don't think I've ever even served anything other than instant at other people's houses unless it's an 'occasion' I guess it depends on what circles you move in.

Shetland · 17/11/2015 09:55

*been served
must learn to proof read better

AnonymousBird · 17/11/2015 10:55

Alta Rica or Azero. Yum.

ScarlettDarling · 17/11/2015 11:01

I must be an utter pleb...I actually like instant coffee!

Orangeanddemons · 17/11/2015 11:03

I loathe proper coffee. It's just too bitter. I only ever drink instant preferably Mellow Birds! I actually avoid anywhere that serves proper coffee, apart from Starbucks and Costa. Because they will do a 1/2 shot.

EssentialHummus · 17/11/2015 11:12

I love instant - it's usually Nescafe Gold Blend in this house, or the Waitrose refills - and would be delighted if someone offered me instant instead of faffing with a Nespresso machine for ages (as seems to happen in our group).

To give you more tea anxiety however - Russian DP is a tea purist and insists on tea with particular brands of mineral water instead of tap water, and various expensive loose-leaf teas from China. He suffers in silence at friends' houses where "tea" is a mug of Tetley's with milk .

celtictoast · 17/11/2015 11:15

I prefer instant coffee.

OnlyLovers · 17/11/2015 11:19

I don't like instant, not because I'm a snob or a purist but because I don't like the taste.

If someone offers me 'tea or coffee' and I don't know if the coffee will be real, I ask for tea. Wouldn't dream of making a song and dance over it or sneering at someone's choice to have instant.

I mainly drink loose-leaf Darjeeling by choice, but if tea at someone's house is a bag of Yorkshire or whatever then that's great. Again, I'd never comment. That would be massively rude.

justonemorethread · 17/11/2015 11:21

I like instant coffee (well, certain brands) and am half Italian, so am quite secure in my coffee drinking credentials.

If you don't want to keep coffee you would never usually drink in the house, then just offer and say 'we're not big coffee drinkers here, but I have instant, or tea/cold drink?'

If people are in your house they should be gracious guests and just make a choice without making a comment about what you store in your cupboards.

Would anyone dare be so rude if they went for dinner at someone's house and they were offered a meal that didn't fit with their taste (or pretensions?). Would it be socially acceptable to bring your own food?
So why is it ok with coffee!

OnlyLovers · 17/11/2015 11:24

Would anyone dare be so rude if they went for dinner at someone's house and they were offered a meal that didn't fit with their taste (or pretensions?).

This has happened to me. I'm no longer on dinner terms with that rude bitch person.

Dumbledoresgirl · 17/11/2015 11:32

You are not alone MrsFogi in becoming paranoid about serving instant coffee after reading threads on MN. I have too. I don't drink much coffee - I will have it when out, or very occasionally at home at 11, but generally I prefer tea. So, until recently, I had the smallest jar of instant coffee in the cupboard. Trouble is, even if I hadn't read MN, I would fret about serving it to visitors as it tends to get a white blush on it as I use it so infrequently.

So, last Christmas, I bought ground coffee (I do own a cafetiere) but, even though I keep that in the fridge, you are only supposed to keep that for a couple of weeks! So I guess I still can't serve coffee to visitors. What is an infrequent coffee-drinker to do?

BTW, despite being a big tea drinker, I still only use teabags. Tesco Red Label. Very basic stuff. I suppose I could offer people some of dh's post Twinings teabags, but I haven't done so to date.

I agree with everyone who says the rudeness lies with people who make a fuss about the drink they are offered.

Dumbledoresgirl · 17/11/2015 11:34

posh teabags, not post teabags (whatever they may be).

amitho · 17/11/2015 11:45

I love coffee and hate most instant but the carte noire espresso is really nice and I do serve that to people if they come over in the daytime

ninared · 17/11/2015 11:51

to me (just to give another opinion) I don't see how anyone would drink instant....ever. It's like the pot noodle or McDonald's of coffee or like using UHT milk instead of fresh.

Why would you not make a fresh coffee? A cafetiere is a cheap/ regular purchase and all the supermarkets sell real coffee.

yes to me instant coffee is social suicide and it tastes horrid :(

Sparklingbrook · 17/11/2015 11:57

Why would you not make a fresh coffee?. Because you prefer instant?

No idea there was milk snobbery either.

OurBlanche · 17/11/2015 11:59

Ah! But ninared you then find that I am one of your friends. I have never found an instant I like, and I have tried all the Millicano's etc. They all have a 'plastic' back taste that I find as unpleasant as the taste of artificial sweetener.

BUT I also find cafetiere coffee bland and tasteless

I just fess up to being a total coffee snob, ask people to just ignore me, or we meet out where we can all buy what we like!

OnlyLovers · 17/11/2015 12:04

I'm not sure it's milk snobbery. UHT milk just doesn't taste as nice.

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeG0es · 17/11/2015 12:05

You could buy a cafetiere and keep ground coffee in specially for guests. But if you don't like it and the guests are infrequent it's a bit of a waste. I'm also not confident about putting the right amount in, how long to leave it etc.

Social suicide is the guest who turns up their nose at what is on offer IMO - you don't like instant, ask for tea, or a glass of water, whatever.

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