I want to cancel my party. [sad]

[mckenzie]

It's a big number birthday and I only sent the invites out a week or so ago although I've been planning the party for a while.
But, I'm not enjoying it and I'm getting myself worked up about it all. I know I'll be stressed on the night because I'll be worried about people turning up, enjoying themselves, the food being ok, the bar staff being quick enough etc etc.
I'm thinking now that I really really wish I hadn't planned a party and I want to cancel it.

Can I? Should I? What would I tell people?
I've had 26 positive RSVPs so far plus some close friends I know are coming won't reply as they were confirmed before they even got their invite.

I know what it will cost me to cancel (ie the band, the venue hire etc) but I still feel that I'd rather lose that money than have the party.
Thoughts please. TIA

I think you are stressing unnecessarily, it's your party so you should be looking forward to it not worrying about how quick the bar staff will be!

People will have a good time, I doubt the bar staff would be slow!? It's their job after all. You have arranged it and done the hard part so just enjoy now. I do know it's easier said than done as I'm like you in that I stress about this sort of thing and people having a good time. In reality though people are happy to be invited and are probably going to have a great time.

It's a bit different, but I had the same fears when I threw a big party for dds birthday. it was all our friends and family rather than kiddies as she's only a toddler. I panicked that no one would come, and that the ones that did would have a terrible time.

Actually most of dps family didn't bother to turn up (Cunts), but we had an incredible time anyway. I worried myself silly and nearly cancelled endless times. I'm so glad I didn't though as dd was spoilt rotton, we all had a complete laugh together and I actually didn't want it to end. I thought I wouldn't relax, but I did. It was fab.

I just wanted to say, that even when things do go wrong, people still love a party. Go for it.

Have you got people that can help you with the party?

How many invitations have you sent out? Are your friends generally flaky or do you expect them to turn out on the night?

Have you got a good friend you can talk to about the organisational bits? If someone goes through your planning and gives some reassurance I'm sure you don't want to cancel?

You sound stressed, but seem to worry too much.

If you cancel you'd regret it I think.

Do you have a good friend or friends who can be party hosts with you? And by party hosts I mean people who show up at your house and you all go together to the venue. Because then you avoid the awkward "first person at the party" moments, and it takes the pressure off you a bit about people showing up.

Is there anyone at your venue who can help ease your concerns?
I work in a venue and run the bar. I'm sure the bar staff will be just fine and we try our hardest to ensure you and your guests have good time.

What are your concerns? Can we advise you here?
Leave the bar to the bar staff, unless you have some specific requests - give those soon.
Are you catering yourself or buying in?
Over-invite. We tell our clients to expect a 10-20% no show, even if they've RSVPd. Better to over invite than have a half empty venue.

Also, I am terrible for cancelling my own parties and events. I get cold feet, think no one is going to coming, everyone will ditch me if a better plan comes along etc etc. It doesn't help that my birthday is in the height of holiday season when lots of people are away.
But I often feel worse for cancelling and finding myself moping around at home when the night of the would-have-been party rolls around.

DP and I had a huge shouting match an hour before his 50th because he was so stressed!!

Leave the bar to the bar staff. Are you catering? Ash here for advice. Blow dry and new outfit. Over invite.

Thank you for all your helpful replies. Decision making time tonight.

So, how goes it?

Cancelled. Feels like the right thing to do.