Is it rude to give back a present you don't like?

[ThePartyArtist]

Just interested in people's opinions on whether this is rude or not...
My inlaws are of the opinion that if someone gives you a present you don't like, you tell them. I think this may be confined to food presents rather than other stuff. For example, my sister in law was given sweets by her aunt, and told her she didn't like them and gave them back to the aunt. Also one Christmas I spent ages making homemade truffles and wrapping them up in a little Pinterest-inspired package, for all the family to share, and they gave them back to me.

I think any present you're given, you say thank you, and if you really hate it you give it to the charity shop or in the case of ill fitting clothes maybe ask if a receipt is available, if you know the giver suitably well. I think giving back food you don't particularly like is quite rude and unnecessary. What do others think - honesty the best policy, or politeness over everything else?

I'd smile say thank you and a) return/exchange b) give to charity shop or c) food: throw away.

I saw those bumcrack chocolates, RB68! The thing that I can't ever get over is the mould - I don't know how distant the mould would have to be from the original model before I could not think about the six degrees relationship that chocolate had with someone's actual anus.

No, no, no, no, no.

(On the OP's original ask - politeness every time.)

(Is that mold or mould? I think it's mold. Hmmm.)

Unless the gifted item is illegal or deeply inappropriate I would consider it to be extremely rude

Wow. That is so rude. How about a sincere 'thank you', or 'how very kind of you to go so much trouble?'Handmade truffles you say

I once went to a lot of trouble to get a friend a gift. Didn't have a lot of money at the time as I was a student. Anyway, went round to her house and left a beautifully wrapped present on her bed was just radox bath salts but... She still hasn't said thank you, 18 years ago... I don't hold a grudge or anything . We WERE very close.

Someone once tried to give me some very special and expensive caviar she had brought from Russia. I am vegan and don't eat caviar, which she didn't know. I thanked her profusely but explained that I couldn't eat it, though it looked amazing.

I hope this wasn't rude, but I couldn't bear to take her highly prized special treat and just give it to someone else.

If someone bought me a food I didn't like I would probably tell them depending on the person. But if they handmade me something I wouldn't dare hand it back.

Once my pil bought me a lovely toiletries bag. I asked mil if she wanted the gift bag she gave it to me in back. Poor fil thought I ment the gift. he wasn't impressed.

With something like chocolates, I'm afraid would say - particularly if you'd made them yourself. I'm dairy intolerant, so would have to ask if they contained butter or cream. I'd do this after hugely admiring your skills and thanking you for the trouble you'd taken; I'd apologise a lot and I'd offer them round if other people were present. But I'd hate to think of you going to so much trouble again for me, only for me to have to lie or give myself the squits for two days!

Always rude except......
I bought a new friend bottle of wine as a birthday gift. She ummed and ahhed and then confessed she doesn't actually drink (she is a very new friend) and would I like to enjoy it instead? I would and am looking for a new gift for her, one without booze in it.

I'm not very good with pressies but I do try to look pleased and say thank-you when someone gives me something.
I think that's kind of rule one of present exchange!

Very very rude! My FIL got a tie from SIL for last father's day. He opened it, said "Oh this isn't something I'd wear!" and then threw it at BIL. If SIL was offended, she didn't show it but it makes me wonder if he is just pretending to like the presents we've given him. Plus, he is ridiculously difficult to buy for anyway and his birthday is the beginning of January. So two presents in short succession... Sigh.

Oh and MIL told DFiance to make sure I didn't give them any more photo frames. I thought they would like lots of pictures of their first granddaughter... No?

I confess that I am completely in love with the Jeff Goldblum xmas ads that he's doing for Curry's, on faking appreciation for duff gifts. I know that he's just trying to sell me electronics that I can't afford and don't need, but still:

Definitely for small gifts you say thank you and appreciate the gesture even if you hate it. For larger gifts, especially expensive ones I think there is a case for gently saying you don't feel you would use it and could it be exchanged or something. I wish I had done this earlier with a lovely friend who often buys me expensive gifts that I don't like.

Thats very rude IMHO..after spending time to create an individual gift to be given back is a bit insulting. So, now you know not to waste your time on people...next time a bag of jelly babies?

They gave back you truffles?

That's not only rude but down right mean, I would have told them to shove the truffles up their arses.

your oops.

Depending on who I get to do secret Santa for, an edible anus might be in the mix somewhere.

Oh, I've just noticed which board we're on! YY, you all hate me

I'd still compromise my manners, though.

I agree that it is rude to just hand it back, however if it is foodstuffs you are likely to receive again then explaining that you are not keen etc st a different time wouldn't hurt their feelings.
My grandpa said one year that he didn't like ferrero rocher, which is been buying him every year thinking he loved because he accepted so enthusiastically. The following year I bought him some more as a joke present. I wasn't offended that he'd told me, I sort of wished he'd told me earlier to prevent a few years of disappointing gifts... There are ways of being polite about it I think...

If I don't like the present, I take it and say thank you. It's mildly annoying to get chocolates or Baileys from someone who knows I'm lactose intolerant, but at least they are easy to re gift.
When it was my last day at work a colleague brought in her amazing homemade cheesecake that everyone raves about. She handed me a big slice on a plate, to eat there and then. When I said I couldn't eat any, she burst into tears. :-(

Bumcrack chocolate sounds disgusting!

You should try my SiL's somewhat forthright approach to present giving. We treasure the time she handed something over to DH saying "Here's your present, if you don't like it it's your own fault, you should have said."

Politeness, absolutely. If someone gave me back a gift I'd put time/thought/effort/money into getting them, I would not be giving them anything again in the future!

We had one elderly relative who got us the most random gifts as teenagers... we loved it, it became a family thing "What on earth has she got us this year! What could it be? Could it possibly be more random than last year?" We always said thank you, and we meant it... they were always the ones we looked forward to opening.

Who the hell doesn't like truffles?

Very rude. Just pass them on if you don't like them. Getting foodstuffs you don't like is really helpful cos then you've always got something nice in for guests that you won't be tempted to eat yourself.