My DH and I,as soon as we became parents were eager to instil in our child the virtues of academic achievement and consequently he is regarded as a star pupil, gets faultless grades and when it comes to University, he will be able to go to wherever he chooses.
However yesterday a squad of 5 mothers, all with sons in the same year as my own, came to my front door, all claiming -with a shrill hysteria- that my son is far from being a top pupil and is in fact a dreadful bully.
Leaving aside the outrage I felt regarding this rude intrusion their claims were somewhat startling. According to them, my son is a leader of a gang that wields more power than the prefects and teachers combined and because he has so much influence, they cannot approach the headmaster.
Apparently, unless the needs of the lesson dictate otherwise, he forces everyone to at all times speak only in formal Latin and has instituted a twice daily ritual that worships a God called Hielophanicun. As this is supposed to be a respectable Christian school, the mothers are not very happy about this. He has forced dozens of boys to get tattoos honouring this God and the mothers feel this may affect their boys career prospects; particularly if they seek employment with some of the more respectable banking establishments. Also the mothers are concerned with the ritual sacrifices this God Hielophanicun demands because the fact these boys are required to go to London to acquire prostitutes could result in a criminal record if they are caught bringing them back to the boarding school. Then a career in politics could be extremely problematic.
I've never been so embarrassed in my life. All the neighbours were watching and some of these mothers were loud and shouting angrily. In my village I am regarded as something as an authority figure- last year I was able to initiate a campaign to get the post man replaced (he seemed a little off to me) and neighbourhood watch meetings are usually held at my house. However after yesterdays incident I feel I may have lost some points and now I have to work to undue the damage these mothers have done to my local reputation.
What would you do?