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Original poster

How to respond to 'why aren't you two married yet?'

68 replies

MrsPilkington · 30/07/2015 11:57

We get it an awful lot. Usually off his side of the family who swing between berating us for not being married and telling me I'm not good enough for him. So, purely because 'we aren't in a rush' is getting boring, and 'because I asked him and he said no' is slightly embarrassing, what would your hilarious replies be to stop this constant question but also to liven up the endless family occasions in which I find myself being asked.

OP posts:

pinkyredrose · 30/07/2015 12:00

Tell them you're already married to someone else!

SanityClause · 30/07/2015 12:03

You would obviously like to be married, but he wouldn't. Let him do the explaining.

LovesYoungDream · 30/07/2015 12:07

Tell them you're keeping your options open (then smile and walk away before they can ask you to elaborate)

Original poster

MrsPilkington · 30/07/2015 12:08

Oh no. I couldn't do that haha. He said 'one day' when I asked him why not now. And I don't want people looking at me when it does happen thinking 'oh she finally wore him down then'

OP posts:

AlpacaMyBags · 30/07/2015 12:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

MrsPilkington · 30/07/2015 12:08

Lovesyoungdream YES! I love that!

OP posts:

WhereYouLeftIt · 30/07/2015 12:09

I'd probably go with 'because he insists you'd have to be invited to the wedding'.
Probably just say that inside my head though .

Love51 · 30/07/2015 12:11

The truth. But phrased really bluntly, and don't smile, the aim isn't to make them feel comfortable.
ie He doesn't want to.

Original poster

MrsPilkington · 30/07/2015 12:12

I wish WhereYouLeftIt

OP posts:

DarkEvilMoon · 30/07/2015 12:14

In this socially diverse culture why are you holding on to outdated concepts of the norm?

You could add "As long as we love each other what diference does an expensive piece of paper make?" but that would open you up to discussion.

chamerion · 30/07/2015 12:17

'My husband would object.'

SweetSorrow · 30/07/2015 12:19

We've been together for 10 years, have two children and my line in this situation is "I'm still making up my mind about him". In reality it's just that neither of us are that bothered.

Lottapianos · 30/07/2015 12:23

Dear me, aren't people rude? We've been together for 10 years and never get this thankfully. I would probably go with one of the jokey responses above. And tell their to mind their own sodding business in my head

Muskey · 30/07/2015 12:23

My response would be because we don't want to

badg3r · 30/07/2015 12:24

"we made a deal a whole ago that we'd get engaged once we'd managed a whole month without someone asking about it inappropriately... I guess we're back to square one... " op I know how you feel! in the end we just had a baby instead. nobody has asked about the wedding once since he was born.

badg3r · 30/07/2015 12:25

*while! And I'm not suggesting you should have a baby to put them off the scent!!

Original poster

MrsPilkington · 30/07/2015 12:28

We are expecting again but haven't told them yet perhaps we should save the announcement of baby number three until the next time they ask

OP posts:

Solasum · 30/07/2015 12:28

I had an ex whose response to this, every time, was 'Why would I want to marry her? Hahaha' so glad he is now an ex

achieve6 · 30/07/2015 12:29

how about "why haven't you learned basic manners yet?"

motherinferior · 30/07/2015 12:30

I tend to quote the divine Mae West: I'm sure it's a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet.

DP tends to grumble that he's asked me and I said no.

ButterDish · 30/07/2015 12:32

Get your DP to throw himself on the floor, sobbing operatically and howling 'Because she won't marry MEEE!' Each time.

More seriously, tell them to fuck off and decide whether, if marriage is actually something that is important to you, you are prepared to hang about waiting for someone who either doesn't want to marry, or doesn't want to marry you, is fobbing you off with 'one day', and seems to see you no issue with you socialising with his famiky who don't think you're good enough for him.

In other words, forget thinking up joky remarks to placate the family, and figure out whether this is a relationship you want to stay in indefinitely.

Chrysanthemum5 · 30/07/2015 12:33

I'd probably reply 'why do you care?'
I think it's really rude to ask someone why they are/are not married; don't have children etc so I'm not very tolerant of it!

FishWithABicycle · 30/07/2015 12:34

Some friends of mine did something similar to badg3r - it was "each time someone asks, we add on another year."

People did eventually stop asking (and last year they eloped and married in secret)

SoupDragon · 30/07/2015 12:37

If you have children, have you ensured that you have protection in place should it all go wrong...? So many women get screwed by this because they don't have the protection being married gives them.

That said, it's really on ones business. I imagine they are just making small talk and marriage and children often come fairly close together one way or the other. It's probably just something to say. If you were married with no children it would be "are you planning to start a family...?"

missorinoco · 30/07/2015 12:37

"Because I'm waiting until I get in-laws I could bear to be related to."

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