Two buddies, Graham and Barry, are getting very drunk at a bar when suddenly barry throws up all over himself.
"Oh, no," he cries. "Caroline will kill me!"
Graham says, "Don't worry, pal. Just tuck a twenty pound note in your breast pocket and tell her that someone threw up on you and gave you twenty quid for the dry-cleaning bill."
So they stay for another couple of hours and get even drunker.
Eventually Barry rolls into home and Caroline screams, "You stink of alcohol and you've puked all over yourself! My God, you're disgusting!"
Barry says, "I can es'plain everythin! Ish not what you think. I only had a cupla drinks. But thish other guy got sick on me... he had one too many and he jush couldn't hold hizz drink. He said he was verrry sorry an' gave me twennie quid for the cleaning bill!"
Caroline looks in the breast pocket and says, "But this is forty quid"
"Oh, yeah, I almos' forgot," says barry.
"He sh*t in my pants, too."