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Original poster

Expensive gift, which I don't like

16 replies

bringonyourwreckingball · 16/02/2015 18:44

I recently had a significant birthday. PIL (who I love dearly and get on well with) have given me a necklace which is a brand I now understand is rather expensive (coeur de lion). I don't like it, it's not really my style and I doubt I'll ever wear it. Would it be really really terrible to eBay it? Obviously I would never tell them, and we don't see them often as they live a long way away so chances are they would never notice me not wearing it. But there is always that risk that they would find out and be terribly hurt. But on the other hand, it seems such a waste of money if I never wear it. WWYD?

OP posts:

emotionsecho · 16/02/2015 18:48

Hmm, if you get on well with them could you not explain that it is not to your taste and could you exchange it for another item that is (can you look up the make and see if they have anything you like?), if you can't do that could your dh speak to them for you?

Blu · 16/02/2015 18:49

What does your DH think?
You could send them a photo of you wearing it and then eBay it, unless your DH would be upset.
Are you sure they don't use eBay?

PartyFops · 16/02/2015 18:52

I have never heard of these, and just googled, there is a lovely blue and grey one!

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Original poster

bringonyourwreckingball · 16/02/2015 18:53

They definitely don't use eBay. mIL would I think be very hurt if I said I didn't like it, they've been away until today so haven't thanked them yet. Dh thinks I should suck it up and just put it away somewhere if I don't want to wear it.

OP posts:

mortil2 · 16/02/2015 18:55

Wow that's a hard one. Would they not think it was strange if they never saw you wear it?

Hassled · 16/02/2015 18:55

I suppose it depends how much you could do with the cash. If we're not talking a significant amount or if you're not in desperate need, I think your DH is right - just put it away for now.

mrscumberbatch · 16/02/2015 18:57

Could you not see if they have a receipt?

You'll never sell it on eBay for what it cost and I'm sure your mil would like you to have the benefit of the full value.

Fwiw- I really like coeur de lion. Maybe it'll grow on you/look nice with a particular top?

threepiecesuite · 16/02/2015 19:03

I've never heard of the brand but just looked it up and don't mind some of the pieces - which style of necklace did you receive?
I'd just wear it a few times then keep it. I bet people compliment you on it and you might grow to like it due to the thought that went into it.

TheMoa · 16/02/2015 19:08

I've just had a look online (had never heard of them either!).

The pieces don't seem to be eye-wateringly expensive, the most expensive I saw was about £180.

I don't think I'd risk upsetting anyone for the sake of the £100 you might make selling it on. Even re-gifting it to a favourite niece who'd really love it would be kinder

Gen35 · 16/02/2015 19:10

I'd be tempted to try and say that because you're close to them you feel they deserve your honesty and you would hate for them to not have their hard earned cash spent on something useful to you. I'd try and wrap it up as a compliment. If your MIL is likely to be really upset though I'd probably do what your DH says and put it in a drawer - I wish people didn't take things so personally, you love them, they love you, you just don't share taste in jewellery.

Effic · 16/02/2015 19:18

Agree with pp. no point in ebay - you'll get a fraction of its value. To my mind you can do three things:

Suck it up as your husband says. It's really the thought that counts (can't imagine my now ex-PIL ever buying me anything nice!) and both PIL and DH are happy. The jewellery doesnt care if it lives in a box & you haven't lost anything have you?
Explain to PIL that its not to your taste and see if it can be returned. This runs the risk of hurting their feelings, becoming a bigger problem if they don't have the receipt / it can't be returned and then they know you don't like it but are stuck with it or worse they offer to buy something else! The only upside is, if it can be returned, you might get some money to buy something you like? Is it worth it?
Slightly sneaky option and highly dependent on what it is exactly but if it was taken apart and rebuilt as something else - could you like it? My friend had a necklace with very large baroque style large beads and other stuff which was rather overpowering, taken apart and restrung as a braclet and a simple chain with a 'pendant' made from three beads. It looked fantastic afterwards and she just told her dh (who bought her the necklace) that she's accidentally broken it and lost some of the beads and so the jeweller had suggested this. :)

SoMuchForSubtlety · 16/02/2015 19:18

I'd just keep it. A necklace doesn't take up much room and if you don't see them then you don't have to wear it, except for the occasional token photo. It's not a waste of money really, it's a gift so they've chosen something they think is worthwhile - hence worth the money to them.

scater · 16/02/2015 19:42

What about finding something of the same make you really like, then lying and saying thanks so much but it just so happens you have been coveting a particular piece by the same company for ages and would they mind if you took the opportunity to swap? They would probably be really pleased they got so close to getting you the 'perfect' gift

emotionsecho · 16/02/2015 21:38

If there is something you like from the company could you not contact them and explain the problem and see if they might exchange it?

Original poster

bringonyourwreckingball · 16/02/2015 22:11

Thank you all for replying. I think you're right and I just have to go with it. I guess I was just a little frustrated as I had given dh a couple of suggestions which would have been half the price and I would have loved.

OP posts:

MojaveWanderer123 · 17/02/2015 09:08

My first thought was don't eBay it exchange it! If you can't exchange it then just keep it. I have lots of really decent jewellery that I never wear and it will get passed down to my dd's. Failing that I have a niece who will happily take it off my hands and drape herself in it, all at once

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