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Original poster

What is the right order to serve food?

36 replies

tumbletumble · 30/12/2014 12:53

In our house we don't bother with any particular order, but MIL always serves all the adults before any of the children and I'm interested to know if she is right?

I would have said female guests first (regardless of age) then male guests, then female hosts, then male hosts.

OP posts:

MerryJeffingChristmas · 30/12/2014 12:54

I never give it a thought.

Original poster

tumbletumble · 30/12/2014 12:57

Er... Thanks

OP posts:

ilovepowerhoop · 30/12/2014 12:59

Why females first? Can you not just give plates, food in dishes and everyone serve themselves. In the past it was probably the men getting served first with the females and children getting the crappy remains

Lottiedoubtie · 30/12/2014 13:01

I would serve children first then guests in table order. Unless my elderly nan was there, then her first. No idea if that's 'right' or not.

Inthedarkaboutfashion · 30/12/2014 13:01

I put all the food in big dishes in the middle of the table so everyone can help themselves. My mum serves children first because they are impatient.

milkysmum · 30/12/2014 13:03

Gosh I have absolutely never thought about it! Why would it be women before men?

SacredHeart · 30/12/2014 13:03

My understanding is guest of honour then in age eldest woman to youngest male.

But in my family experience I have 7 cousins (from different parents) who are gluttons with no manners - so adults get served before them or they would take all the food leaving nothing for others.

ReluctantCamper · 30/12/2014 13:03

I normally serve guest kids first for the main course so their parents food doesn't get cold while they help them to veg, chop it up etc. Then our DC so DH can help them, then guest adults, then DH, then me!

Children seem to miraculously need no help with their pudding, so I serve guest adults first, then guest kids, then our DC, then us.

As you say, women first, then men.

Gileswithachainsaw · 30/12/2014 13:04

kids and any slower or more frail adults so they can get seated and comfy first and not be left with scraps they don't eat or run around fidgety.

then everyone else.

42notTrendy · 30/12/2014 13:04

At Christmas I served the mums first, then the kids, then dads. Me and DH were last.
We went to a very fancy restaurant recently where everyone was served at the same time. Although you need 'staff ' for that!

GooodMythicalMorning · 30/12/2014 13:04

Guests first then randomly whoevers plate I happen to pick up.

zippyandbungle · 30/12/2014 13:04

In MIL its her husband, then sons, then grandchildren then DILs on much smaller plates than the man folk obviously

Titsalinabumsquash · 30/12/2014 13:05

I do children first (youngest to eldest) then I bring Mine and DP's plate out at the same tune while he grabs drinks/cutlery etc.

I never do a particular gender first.

If there are guests I do who ever I like most first

Original poster

tumbletumble · 30/12/2014 13:06

So it's only my MIL that insists on making the kids wait till last then? Sigh!

OP posts:

willowisp · 30/12/2014 13:07

I tend to serve female guests, then make guests. DH & I last of course.

If I have kids at the table, mix it up with oldest/youngest.

If kids at different table with serve our first but still guests first.

If just us at home the DC who I alternate (in my head), DH & me.

If I'm in a hurry, the food is or someone is very hungry, I'll do whatever !

Whatever happens, I really don't like it if people start eating before everyone else has been served.

Original poster

tumbletumble · 30/12/2014 13:07

Zippy maybe your MIL and mine would get on well!

OP posts:

Finola1step · 30/12/2014 13:08

No hard and fast rules for us but usually I serve children first. Then adults in any order but older generation first if they are there. I serve myself and DH last.

Nothing to do with etiquette. I remember being at my Nan's when we were little with all the family. All the men sat down at the table and were given a "man's portion". The women in my family were then given a small portion but would have to stand up in the kitchen. Except one aunt who was single, child free and worked in an office. She was allowed to sit at the table with the menfolk because she had a "proper job". The children were then fed when all the men were finished and we were then booted out of the sitting room for them. All wrong on so many levels. My home is very, very different.

Gileswithachainsaw · 30/12/2014 13:08

Yes. If you do the kids first it gets them. out the way. adults can cut up their food and it can cool down. They can then have a hot meal themselves.

JeanetteDanielsBenziger · 30/12/2014 13:09

Whoever is sitting furthest away from the kitchen gets served first, Plates are handed to whoever is nearest and passed down until everyone is served, Regardless of age, gender etc.

bigTillyMint · 30/12/2014 13:09

If there were kids at the table, then them first. Then OAPs then other guests in no particular order. Hosts last

Letthemtalk · 30/12/2014 13:10

Typical family meal, mil first, then DC, then dp and I.

zippyandbungle · 30/12/2014 13:13

This is one of the many oddities of my mil, however I choose to treat her as I would my teenagers and pick my fights. I don't sweat the small stuff or I would be forever on AIBU.

LeonardoAcropolis · 30/12/2014 13:15

My late grandmother did the very same, she would say that it was rude for children to be eating first. She was a very eccentric woman with a touch of the Hyacynth Bucket about her, and my parents always put it down to her being odd, rather than genuine etiquette. It was a bizarre system, seeing as she had 15 grandchildren, mostly toddlers at the same time, who needed assistance with their food.

steppeupunderthemisletoe · 30/12/2014 13:17

correct etiquette is female guests, then female hosts, then male guests then male hosts.

If I had friends to dinner I would serve guests first.

When kids are present I usually serve them, so their parents can help them with veg/cutting food etc, and then I serve parents so now parents are free to enjoy their food.

I really don't think there is a 'right' order any more, the world has moved on, but it would be odd to serve guests last.

MehsMum · 30/12/2014 13:19

The only real rule in this house is Family Hold Back: if there's a buffet or cafeteria-type serve up (i.e. off the kitchen worktop) the family is At The Back. If we're passing dishes round the table, you take things as they pass you but the DC have been trained to leave plenty for guests.

If we have lots to feed (more than 15, say), we give all the children their main course, let them go and play/watch TV, feed the adults both courses, and then let the children back to clean up on the puds. They like this because they have a chance to 'make room' (i.e. digest a bit) and know they can finish the puds completely.

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