Christmas Presents

[MadisonMontgomery]

Help please - I have no idea what to do! My mum died a few years ago so go to aunt & uncles for Christmas. When my mum was alive she would buy my aunt & uncle & each of my cousins a present from both of us. Aunt & uncle did likewise, cousins & I never bought presents. Now, my aunt & uncle give me a present (usually a large cheque, much more than prior to mums death) from all of them. The last few years I have bought a big box of chocs for them all from me, but it feels really tight in the face of their generosity & hospitality.

I have no idea what to do - keep buying something that is for all of them? Buy my aunt & uncle a present? Buy all of them presents? Can anyone give me some advice please!

How old are the cousins and how many of them are there?

I would buy the aunt and uncle a present. Not one each, between them.

Two, 22 & 25 - if they were little I'd get them something, but we're the same age-range.

I would guess that the money is coming from your aunt and uncle, although they put your cousins' names on it. So, I'd keep up the big box of chocs to share and perhaps get something else for your aunt and uncle (a joint present, as the previous poster said).

i'm sorry about your mum.

I think, though, that this is also about you moving from child role to adult role. As an adult guest I think it would be nice to get them something each to open - doesn't need to be expensive, maybe a bottle of wine for your cousins and you could do a joint gift for your aunt and uncle if that's easier. I think if you actually spend christmas day with someone, especially if they are family, you should give them something 'to open'. Not at 18, but once you're fully into adulthood IYKWIM.

Take the chocs unwrapped as a contribution to the catering, perhaps.

It is difficult when people give you cheques and you can't, and aren't expected to, reciprocate as much. We have the same with my ILs. In return we try to do "small but thoughtful", because DFIL gets the hump if we go overboard. So there's often a box of chocs involved but also his favourites sweets, photoframe with pic of the kids, coasters or something. In this case, if you can stretch to it, I think a small token for each of their daughters would be part of the "thoughtfulness", because they will be there and are part of the family.

I'd take a hamper of nice good and some champagne and flowers as a thank you for the hospitality.