Sibling rivalry!!

[mummyof2girls07]

Hi, this is my first time here and the sites been recommended to me by a friend. I have 2 girls, 6 and 4. Lately I am having a nightmare with my eldest. She is jealous of her younger sister because I spend more time with the 4 year old (this is purely because she is not at school yet!) Nothing I say to my eldest helps, she just says I do not love her and prefer her sister. I have tried explaining that I love her equally to her sister but its not helping. To make things worse the younger of the two is a handful and knows exactly how to wind her elder sister up. Are there any other parents out there that have a similar situation and can perhaps tell me there is light at the end of the tunnel? Or will this faze go away when the youngest starts school in September?

My boys are 8 and 4 and sometimes they love each other and sometimes they hate each other- I have a similar problem with my 8yr old not wanting me to do anything with just the 4yr old, he will interrupt bedtime stories/ bathtimes etc just so he can try and claim more of my time/attention.
I have no perfect solution but I find it is best to ignore the attention seeking -you love her more etc and then when the youngest is asleep I make a point of spending some 1:1 time with my eldest.
Do they have different bedtimes- could you spend some alone time with your eldest?
I think it will get a bit easier, I find the days that my youngest does a whole day at the nursery attached to the school they love being picked up at the same time- although my eldest does like to remind the youngest that he is in a bigger class!

You have my full sympathy, but keep going as you are. Your eldest daughter knows perfectly well that you love her and am sure is saying it to make you feel guilty. It is important for young children to learn that people cannot be manipulated so your daughters are learning a very important life skill, even if it does make life very tiresome at times! I think it will help hugely when youngest starts school, which was certainly the case for me. As for the winding each other up........perfectly normal and hugely irritating!!!! As long as you are able to spend a few minutes of quality time with eldest each day, then I would try not to worry too much. There is light at the end of the tunnel........until we hit 'teenagedom' that is!!!!!!!!!

I would echo what EnglishRose said - I have three boys and this comes up from time to time. If you can manage it organise some special time between the bedtimes, just for you and eldest daughter. And make it very formal, that this is your special time just to be with her.

Mine are all in school, but I make a point of collecting the eldest from secondary twice a week, even though he has a bus service. This is because it gives us 20 minutes alone together in the car to have a chat and a catch up.

Also, they can be manipulative and wind you up - don't let them!

HTH

Graham