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Original poster

Everyone calls my baby Joseph 'Joe'

97 replies

GotAnotherQuestion · 29/05/2014 10:30

And even worse, spells it Jo half the time!

I knew nicknames would be used at some point but I imagined in the future and not straight after birth.

Many of the family have never called him Joseph and of course have spread to as many friends and neighbours as they can that he is called Jo.

It is doing my head in! If anyone has a William how would you deal with people calling your baby Bill right from newborn?

Talk about naming regret!

OP posts:
throckenholt · 29/05/2014 14:25

Just live with it. You call him Joseph, you DH calls him whatever he likes and you ignore the rest.

Names develop over time and at some stage he will assert his own preference.

Original poster
GotAnotherQuestion · 29/05/2014 14:29

Jenwa - I understand about the control thing as my in laws are very much like that. I suspect it's as much habit as anything else, and they're accustomed to ruling my husband an so naturally want to override me too. He puts up with it but I don't like to the same way!

What was your partner like when your in laws were being like that towards you?

OP posts:
tribpot · 29/05/2014 14:39

I think you can say 'look, I tried to get used to people calling him Joe but I chose Joseph for a reason'. (You won't be able to stop him calling himself Joe when he's older but of course that's entirely different).

People getting names wrong is one of those things that really annoys me. I work with a Matthew who doesn't like to be called Matt but getting people to remember that is actually quite difficult. He just corrects them every time it happens.

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Families
WildCherryBlossom · 29/05/2014 15:09

Minty - Maximillian was 2. It did seem like a lot of name for such a little person. Smile

SquallyShowers · 29/05/2014 15:12

Oh dont become like Rachel from Friends, introducing her boyfriend as 'Joshua, not Josh'

Too pretentious for words.

Just carry on calling him Joseph and many people will take the hint. Those that dont? Dont sweat it.

DinoSnores · 29/05/2014 15:17

My children have names that can be shortened but they are only ever known by their full names. We've told our families that we don't want their names shortened until the child themselves wants their name shortened.

I don't care if it is "pretentious". They were given names. People can use them!

jenwa · 29/05/2014 15:20

Gotanotherquestion yes very much like you say with yours! DH was too just to always make her happy even if he didn't always agree just to keep the peaceShock. I'm not good at being controlled!! Especially when it's about my DC and I will say something. DH doesn't always say much as he doesn't want to cause a row but he did tackle the name thing. I have 2 horrible emails from Inlaws about this yet he didn't seem to stressed about it! Think he felt in the middle but I'd rather he had stood up to her more. He ignores it if he doesn't agree with her it just humours her and says he does or will do something then doesn't do it. To me I'd rather say I won't be able to do that or I won't do it before hand but he tries to keep the peace.
She did text him a weird text once when she was annoyed with me, very cryptic and childish so he wanted to know whatnot was about. I told him and he just left it and spoke to them the next day. If my mum had sent him a text like that I'd be ringing her wanting to know what she did that for! It was trivial too but she wanted to involve him I think so that he would give in. Hmm

MrsBobDobalina · 29/05/2014 15:21

I have this with both my boys. My strategy is either to constantly refer to him by his full name until they twig that his name is not "Willy" or "Billy" or whatever they have decided his name is rather than William, or, when my patience isn't there, to say "Actually we call him Robert, not Robbie, thanks". That seems to work pretty effectively when the more subtle approach fails. Keep perservering and it will work, especially once he is old enough to tell people his name.

*disclaimer: not my sons' actual names. These names are for demonstration purposes only. No children were harmed in the making of this example.

StrumpersPlunkett · 29/05/2014 15:23

I have 2 children with shortenable names
for the sake of this discussion lets call them William and Benjamin
When people call them Bill and Ben I simply say - do you mean William and Benjamin?
I even take the mickey out of myself and say - I know I am being anal but they are actually William and Benjamin not Bill and Ben - I know by the time they get to the pub they will have decided to be Bill nd Ben but for now William and Benjamin is my preference.

VV rude to be honest they may as well be calling them a totally different name IMO

AntinousWild · 29/05/2014 15:28

My Grandma called me another name entirely as my given name wasn't biblical. She bought name signs and all sorts using the wrong name. She called me Ruth. My name is NOTHING like Ruth but she didn't pack it in until I could correct her myself.

Anyway, people told me dd would end up a Tilly which I dislike and every time people used this nickname, I smiled and said " actually it is x" and people stopped. She is 7 now and never has she been a Tilly. She has a friend named Joseph and one named Jacob. Never Joe or Jake. You just gently remind people.

Nishky · 29/05/2014 15:32

Just please don't turn into my mother- she was so determined that my name should not be shortened that when I was 10, she was in the house with window open and one of my friends called me by the shortened version.

My mum in her best Hyacinth Bucket voice trilled 'her NAME is long version' thanks for the humiliation mother.

I actually like the short version and use it now

TinklyLittleLaugh · 29/05/2014 15:33

Personally I think when you name a child you put it out there in the public domain for people to do what they like with it. You will not be able to go into his school and supervise what his friends call him at playtime.

All my four have classic, Joseph type, names with lots of nickname and shortening options. Different people call them different things and I think that's rather nice.

sonlypuppyfat · 29/05/2014 15:33

This drives me up the wall. I have started a few threads on this I'm a Deborah and people call me Debbie straight away, fuckers. Its up to you to tell them it's not Joe names are so important.

xvxvxvxvxvxvxvxv · 29/05/2014 15:35

Yuck. I've have this. If my daughter wants to call herself any nickname in the future that's her choice but I found it really rude I had people do this. It's like you've named your daughter but I've got a better idea! They shortened her name to 'DD'. "That's my nickname for her. DD!" I said "well it sounds crap and that's why I called her {fullfirstname}" and yes they were a bit annoyed I said that but I don't care.
Just tell them what his name is. And give them nicknames too.

OorWullie · 29/05/2014 15:35

I have a James, if anyone dares call him Jimmy, i correct them every single time, no matter who it is. Few people make the mistake now.

Nishky · 29/05/2014 15:40

How long will all you correctors continue to do so, until they are 5, 10, 21?

I'm with twinkly-my dc are called different things by different people-doesn't bother me- never did really

MissCalamity · 29/05/2014 15:42

I have a Joseph and have always referred to him as Joseph.

There are a handful of people who do call him Joe, and I will always reply "yes, Joseph blah, de blah..."

I know when he's older he will get called Joe, and he can make up his own mind if he's happy being called Joe.

FWIW, my brother has a name which is typically shorted and I never call him the shortened version, because that wasn't the name he was born with! Grin

TinklyLittleLaugh · 29/05/2014 15:43

Seriously Oor why would you call your child James if you dislike the name Jimmy? Because realistically, he'll get called Jimmy or Jim quite often.

StrumpersPlunkett · 29/05/2014 15:46

TLL there is NO WAY I would assume my child would be jim or jimmy from James
I know it is a derivation but so is Dick from Richard and Bill from William. You shouldn't have to worry about this if people actually respected your name choice

jenwa · 29/05/2014 15:47

I think you call them that name knowing in the future it may get shortened but then it's up to your DC to say something of they don't want it shortened. I think when they are very young it's nice to have people respect the name given to them and not shorten it unless you do yourself.

Purpleroxy · 29/05/2014 15:48

I would just refer to him yourself as Joseph and hope that people pick it up.

People shorten names all the time and it's not worth stressing over. I heard some tell off a nursery nurse for shortening their dd's name. It came across very badly tbh and I wouldn't do it. The nn was just being friendly and must have felt like a naughty schoolgirl.

Ludways · 29/05/2014 16:04

My ds (12) has a name people would automatically shorten but I always just corrected them, not rudely just sort of said his full name right after and then carried on speaking. Even his friends now call him by the long name as that's what he wants. That's when they aren't calling him just by our surname, of course!! Lol

WildCherryBlossom · 29/05/2014 16:09

Tinkly I know loads of people, young and old, called James who are never called anything but James. It's only one syllable FFS. Hardly needs shortening. I also know loads of people who call themselves Jim or Jamie. But if someone introduced themselves as James it wouldn't occur to me to call them anything else.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 29/05/2014 16:11

Oor
But that is precisely why I wouldn't call a boy Richard or William; because I wouldn't like them to be called Dick or Willy. Teenage boys turn the most innocuous name into something daft, I wouldn't give them a helping hand.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 29/05/2014 16:15

I think my view here may be a bit coloured by my Welsh valleys upbringing. Someone called James would swiftly end up as Jimmy Big Nose or suchlike.

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