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Original poster

Who is supposed to pay on a date these days? And what does it mean?

11 replies

SamanthaJones · 26/05/2014 19:33

My son says men are supposed to pay.

It's a long time since I dated but when I did I often paid half or paid half of the time. But as dh pointed out when we were discussing it this afternoon "you're a stroppy feminist"

I didn't like being paid for because I earn my own money and always have done and I don't like being beholden to anyone.

What happens these days?

OP posts:

Roshbegosh · 26/05/2014 19:34

I think they should pay on the first date and after that we split it.

bouquetofpencils · 27/05/2014 00:25

If a man offers to pay on first date, a compromise can be that the lady can "treat" him on the next date. Unless it is apparent there will not be a next date, in which case insist on going halves :)

fortyplus · 27/05/2014 00:30

First date never go for a meal - that avoids this potentially awkward situation. Coffee or quick drink - the man usually offers to buy the first one then you insist on buying the second. A bloke who won't graciously accept this is probably some kind of macho type you don't want to see again!

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meditrina · 27/05/2014 00:35

I would expect and offer to pay a share (not necessarily strictly half, more 'you get the tickets, I'll get the popcorn and what would you like to drink?' sort of approach) and would suggest splitting a dinner or bar bill.

Unless the first date was something (which happened to me once) like being a plus one at a very swanky work/charitable event which he had had to buy tickets for anyway.

lessonsintightropes · 27/05/2014 00:36

First date, man pays (sorry, I am a bit trad about this), afterwards it's take it in turns or split the cheque.

CatLady25 · 29/11/2014 19:17

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

crystal85 · 02/02/2015 20:53

I have always said first date man pays - unless he's the worst person that you ever meet then during a toilet trip stop of a pay half then return to table making your excuses to leave.
After that I would normally say halfs or turns but my DH always earn loads more than me and soon notice we went out more if he paid lol now I'm a full time mummy and he pays for everything 1st time I've relied on anyone since i was 14 xx

suitsyousir · 02/02/2015 21:01

Im male and if I asked a lady out on a date (luckily now with DP for 10 years tho) I would pay. If I am inviting I would expect to pay. If she was adamant on going halves I wouldn't cause an arguement but would try to pay without making a big thing of it. I would be happy if she wanted to pay, or go halves from then on. That seems to be what my family and circle of friends would be happy with.

suitsyousir · 02/02/2015 21:02

And me paying wouldnt mean I would be expecting anything from it. I just think its the polite thing to do.

Trills · 02/02/2015 21:03

The one doing the asking.

Or each pay for a different bit (e.g one buy drinks the other buy dinner).

fakenamefornow · 02/02/2015 21:15

I suppose, whomever invites/asked the other out should pay for dinner. I agree with the cinema situation, whoever isn't buying the tickets might get the popcorn. Longer term I guess you both start paying your own way.

When I first started going out with dh he earned a lot more than me, I always paid my own way until one day we had a talk about the fact that I couldn't keep up and that he was very happy to pay for me, after that, mostly he paid.

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