She spent the first day packing her belongings into
boxes, crates and suitcases.
On the second day, she had the movers come and collect
her things.
On the third day, she sat down for the last time at
their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put
on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound
of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of
Chardonnay.
When she had finished, she went into each and every
room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells
dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods.
She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all
was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the
house began to smell
They tried everything: cleaning, mopping, and airing
the place out.
Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were
steam cleaned.
Air fresheners were hung everywhere.
Exterminators were brought in to set off gas
canisters, during which they had to move out for a few
days, and in the end they even paid to replace the
expensive wool carpeting.
Nothing worked.
People stopped coming over to visit.
Repairmen refused to work in the house.
The maid quit.
Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to
move.
A month later, even though they had cut their price in
half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky
house. Word got out, and eventually, even the local
realtors refused to return their calls.
Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from
the bank to purchase a new place.
The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things were
going. He told her the saga of the rotting house.
She listened politely, and said that she missed her
old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her
divorce settlement in exchange for getting the
house back.
Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was,
he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the
house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the
papers that very day.
She agreed, and within the hour his lawyers delivered
the paperwork.
A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling
as they watched the moving company pack everything to
take to their new home...including the curtain rods.