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Original poster

Leaving dc's home alone

28 replies

hoppingmad · 04/12/2013 15:14

I have to leave the house at 5.30am to drive dh to work (rural area, no buses, dh doesn't drive)
I have dc's 13, 9 & 18months (x2)

Our plan is to take the 2 little ones (get the car warm before we take them out) and just hope they fall back asleep in the car

We are quite happy to leave the older 2 - they are sensible and have done fire plans etc at school. We have mains operated fire alarms and a dog who'd defend them

I will be back by 6.30 at the latest.

Dh is worrying about the little ones being in the car during the winter months though and as they don't wake up until 7.30 normally thinks they'd be fine.

I'm not comfortable with it though. Eldest dc gets them up on a Saturday and plays with them in their room until 8 so does have experience, albeit limited.

I know that the likelihood is they would all be fine but what if I had an accident and was delayed. I guess if I might have an accident they'd be better not in the car though...

Dh and I can't agree. I can understand the logic but they are so little and not sure ds could cope with the responsibility. He can look after himself and dd can look after herself but he has autism and she's only 9.

Even writing it down sounds awful and I can't leave them. I'm still going to post it though so you can all tell me I'm right and dh is wrong

Wwyd?

OP posts:
rubyslippers · 04/12/2013 15:18

taxi for your DH??

do you have to do this everyday??

nope i wouldn't do it - why do you all have to get up in the freezing cold and dark for your DH???

it is totally unreasonable - can your DH (long term plan) learn to drive

short term i would be looking at a taxi share or sharing with a neighbour to get to where he needs

or bicycle

ask a colleague to help????

TantrumsAndBalloons · 04/12/2013 15:18

I wouldn't leave the little ones tbh. 13&9, fine if you know they are ready and the 9 year old will listen to the 13 year old. But I personally think the little ones are too much responsibility.

dyslexicdespot · 04/12/2013 15:20

I'm am sure you have considered this already, but couldn't your DH learn to drive? It must be awful having to take him to work everyday!

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Families
Chocotrekkie · 04/12/2013 15:21

You are planning on leaving 2 babies with a 9 yr old and a 13 yr old with sn - really ?

I personally wouldn't even leave the older 2 on their own while they are sleeping never mind with babies to look after.
An hour in the afternoon watching tv yes but not in the middle of the night.

CiderwithBuda · 04/12/2013 15:22

If they are going to be asleep anyway I would leave them. They are far safer at home in bed asleep than in the car.

Do you have a neighbour that could be on standby if you were delayed?

And DH needs to learn to drive,

Original poster
hoppingmad · 04/12/2013 15:24

Well it's not really for my dh ruby. We will all benefit, it's a good job and the best thing for all of us. He does plan on taking his test after winter so this is probably going to last about 6 months.
Taxi's would be cost prohibitive really.

I know, leaving the little ones is crazy isn't it? I think it sounds ok in theory but I actually don't think dh would be able to do it in reality. they're his first and he can be very pfb with them

I think it's one of those times where we know it's a stupid idea but we need someone else to confirm the stupidity Grin

OP posts:
DameDeepRedBetty · 04/12/2013 15:25

Short term, take the babies along for the ride.

Long term, dh MUST learn to drive (or get his licence back if he lost it).

DameDeepRedBetty · 04/12/2013 15:25

xposted.

Original poster
hoppingmad · 04/12/2013 15:26

No he's never had a licence, always lived in the city before marrying me so was buses all the way. I'm the country girl

OP posts:
rubyslippers · 04/12/2013 15:27

i get that you all benefit from your DH's job

has he explored car shares etc through work???

it is a PITA to get up at 5 am, wake sleeping babies up and do an hours round trip though and in bad weather which could majorly delay you

lilyaldrin · 04/12/2013 15:27

13 is too young to be left in charge of two 1 year olds - maybe in a year or two.

MortifiedAnyFuckerAdams · 04/12/2013 15:27

When you say you "have to" and "our plan is" - has ge just got this job?

No way would I be getting two toddlers up at 5.30am and driving us to and from work every day. DH would have to sort his own arrangements. In fact, we would have taken this into consideration on applyibg for the job.

Original poster
hoppingmad · 04/12/2013 15:28

Interesting cider, you may be right about them being safer but they wouldn't be with me! Remember, it's dh that's pfb with them - I'm just over protective as a general rule!

OP posts:
PestoFestivissimos · 04/12/2013 15:31

I would ring round the local taxi firms & negotiate a deal with them if he needs to do this on a regular basis. They will probably be able to reduce their rates in return for guaranteed journeys 5 days a week for the next couple of months.

Original poster
hoppingmad · 04/12/2013 15:32

There are no alternatives. He has been applying for everything under the sun but there are 100's of applicants to each job. He rarely gets an interview - we were lucky that the manager is also a friend.

He can't be out of work any longer - he had a back injury but he doesn't handle being out of work well.

We've known about the job a while and explored every avenue but this is our only option for now Hmm

OP posts:
LIZS · 04/12/2013 15:35

How far to the nearest bus/train ? tbh I don't rate your chances of him keeping this job long term once the cold and icy weather arrives, dc are ill and he gets delayed.

dyslexicdespot · 04/12/2013 15:36

How far is the drive? Could you afford to buy an electric bike or a scooter?

MistyB · 04/12/2013 15:36

Could you find / pay for a babysitter? Perhaps a long term taxi contract would be cheaper than a single taxi ride. Or find someone needing extra work / money to either do the driving or babysitting. It would stress my 9 year old out being left in the house on his own and it will stress you and your DH out doing either of the options you have at the moment.

LadyInDisguise · 04/12/2013 15:43

I would also look at changing your routine quite a bit. Your lol will end up getting up at 5.00am every morning. It's eRly for an 18 months old...

13yo feels too young to be left on charge if the but then you can (could??) also get a 14yo babysitter, who would not have known your dcs the way your oldest does.

I don't know. How mature and responsible is your 13yo?

NoComet · 04/12/2013 15:48

1hr before the little ones would be awake, wouldn't bother me if the baby sitters were DD1 and DD2 ( around 10 and 12) DD1 is the cool head in an emergency and DD2 is brilliant with small children. I'm certain that by 9 she'd have been an expert at younger siblings. She's far better at toddlers than me.

Only you know your 13y well enough

Original poster
hoppingmad · 04/12/2013 15:54

He's responsible enough to look after himself and wouldn't do anything he wasn't allowed but I don't think he would cope 'in charge'. Dd is very bright and very mature for her age and knows exactly how to keep him calm so they are a good team and have been left before.

Looking after toddlers is a different thing entirely though and not something I feel comfortable with.

Mind you I was babysitting at his age!

We will go with plan a, and get the car kitted out appropriately. Thinking back I've done this before with ex when ds was little - must remember to marry a driver next time Wink

OP posts:
Original poster
hoppingmad · 04/12/2013 15:55

Forgot to add that ds wouldn't be sleeping - he sleeps very little

OP posts:
mrscog · 05/12/2013 18:04

Your first plan sounds ok to me - the 18mo's are much hardier than your DH thinks. Just get some of those hot beanbags and bung them in each car seat for 10 mins before you go to warm them, then scoop them up asleep and pop them in the seats with a hat and a blanket. They'll be fine!

frogwatcher42 · 05/12/2013 18:12

Why can't dh go on an intensive driving course (the week long ones or the ones where you do a few weekends) and take his test in the next month? No difference to waiting until spring or summer.

To me it is ridiculous to be waking little children every morning (presume you are talking 5 days a week?) to take him to work. Will the other two be ok to get themselves to school if you are delayed?

Surely there is a bus route within a 10 minute drive from you?

frogwatcher42 · 05/12/2013 18:13

Or get dh a moped. The 6th formers round here drive 30 minutes each way to school on their mopeds. I think you can do that without a test can't you? As long as you have L plates?

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