Daughter is looking for sex with older men on the internet.

[moodycow34]

After going through my daughter's purse and finding train tickets and also going through her phone (she had been lying to me about where she had been, and had not been coming home till the early hours most nights), I found out that she had been messaging and meeting up with dirty, old men (some were even married) from around the country she had met over the internet for sex, through an advert she put up. I did confront her about it as soon as I found out. I shouted at her and told her that I didn't raise a slut and I raised her better than that, that those men were only using her. I was not only angry at her for lying to me on many occasions, but also the obvious lack of respect she had for herself. My daughter didn't respond at all and just looked at me like she couldn't care less. This was just over a week ago.

My daughter is 18, 19 in Dec. Do you think I overreacted?

I just really didn't expect her to turn out to be like that. If your daughter was lying to you about where she was so she could meet men for sex, how would you react?

Reported already.

MNHQ are keeping an eye out.

Op, how many dc do you have?

Basic safety - you don't meet men you've advertised for online, unless someone knows where you are and who you are with. Does anyone? It sounds as if she is absenting herself from home without giving any clue of how long she will be gone for or where she is going. So when to call the police if she doesn't return, and what couod be said about her intentions/companions?

It sounds immensely unsafe.

If the worst that happens is that her mother rants, she's had a
lucky escape.

I thought it was because she had cow in her name obvious when you say it
Not that I get the troll vibe but then I rarely do.

@ReluctantBeing

MNHQ are keeping an eye out.

Goodness, I go to the loo put the kettle on and look what happens!

Please please apologise for calling her a slut.

Spot of gin in that tea?

@MadBusLady

Spot of gin in that tea?

Gin? In this weather? Hot toddy, hot toddy.

I think the OP has gone to bed. Or somewhere...

It's definitely Hot Toddy weather [shiver]

If she wanted to sleep around she could go out to a bar and go home with a guy every night. My guess is, she sees using the internet as a bit seedy and more risky. This kind of risk taking behaviour is self destructing.

Exactly. This young woman is vulnerable even if she doesn't realise it.

You have no place knowing about her sex life, just because you don't approve, or because it does not follow what you consider to be a morally appropriate course, that does not make it your business.

I disagree with that actually. I know from having had two kids go through their teens and out the other side that even though this girl is over the age of consent she has one foot in adulthood and one foot still in childhood, and she will be needing her mum to look out for her, even if she doesn't always like it. Aged 15 to 20 is a massive grey area for our kids, sometimes they are wobbling out of control and need us to keep them from going over the edge. It's tough, and thankless but butting out and minding our own business isn't always the kindest most responsible thing to do. But the OP needs to learn a bit of emotional intelligence in how she tackles this if it's real at all.

moody I want to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you are not trolling, but I am concerned by the emotional coolness and the brevity of your posts and the way you just don't sound like a mother in distress about the potential car crash her daughter is heading towards.

You come across as judgmental and cold. Perhaps your defenses are up, you are in shock, who knows, but if you communicate with your DD like you are communicating with us then I can understand why she might be behaving recklessly and in such an attention seeking and needy fashion, and you need to pull her close to you and make sure she knows you LOVE HER, and help her to see why she deserves better than this. Don't condemn her, she sounds possibly out of control in an unhappy way.

Why would your daughter want to tell you anything if this is the reaction she gets?

Maybe she likes older men? I know I prefer older men, and have never dated anyone my age.

moody did you resolve the issues with your daughter? did she tell you the reasons why she was meeting these men and doing the activities she was doing ?

Oh lord that is ignorant. 18 or not this is her child. She has every right.

OP: any update?

I am very surprised at the number of posters who think that it is ever OK to not even attempt to dissuade a teen DD from going off to meet men only previously encountered online and who could anyone.

How terrible, I would be absolutely devastated. I hope she is not charging them for it?
I would do everything in my power to stop my daughter (or son) from engaging in this type of behaviour.