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Original poster

Wedding - who to send thank you cards too?

15 replies

nicecupofteaandbiscuit · 18/08/2013 00:08

We need to send out thank you cards to our guests. Do you send them to people who didn't buy you a gift? We have a few people who didn't buy a gift, some who live nearby and some who travelled a long way.

Also, I'm not sure whether to send a thank you card to my in laws. They did travel a long way, but didn't buy us a gift, and I did already thank them publicly at the wedding during the speeches and gave them a nice gift.

OP posts:
Original poster
nicecupofteaandbiscuit · 18/08/2013 00:10

Oh, and my in laws did not give us money towards the wedding.

OP posts:
EugenesAxe · 18/08/2013 00:24

I would say send cards to those that bought gifts; presumably the speeches included notes of thanks for those travelling long distances?

If you think someone made a particular effort that you'd like to acknowledge again, then a quick note would be nice.

Generally though I've always felt being fed and watered was thanks enough for attending. More often it's the other way round - guests writing to brides parents to say thanks.

Congratulations by the way!

Original poster
nicecupofteaandbiscuit · 18/08/2013 00:30

Yes, we did say thanks to everyone during the speeches, particularly to those travelling a long way. Thanks!

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Weddings
MarjorieAntrobus · 18/08/2013 00:46

I'd agree with Eugenes. Just send cards to the gift-givers.

Twiddlebum · 18/08/2013 02:26

we only sent thank you cards to people that gave us something. What would you say to those that didn't? Thank you for coming to our wedding for free food/booze/night out that we paid for??? Nah... Don't bother!

PeriodMath · 18/08/2013 04:02

You only send thank you notes for the presents. Saying "thanks for attending our wedding" almost seems a tad PA to me.

PeriodMath · 18/08/2013 04:03

Ha, OP, I have just posted on your other thread - those pesky inlaws again eh? Wink

GeordieCherry · 18/08/2013 04:41

Please send a Thankyou to those who gave you something. The last 3 weddings we've been to we gave not insignificant amounts of ££ (one where we'd made the effort to exchange it for the currency of where they were going on honeymoon) & didn't even know if they'd received it or not til we had to ask Hmm

mirai · 18/08/2013 05:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Yonihadtoask · 08/09/2013 14:49

I sent thank you cards to all who attended. As everyone who attended bought us a gift.

We sent them to our parents too - MIL was very pleased.

I think you could send something to those who came, but didn't buy a gift. just 'thanks for coming, it was lovely to have you there to share our day blah blah blah. Up to you, but it's a nice touch. I don't think it is PA.

Agree with geordiecherry that it is important to send a quick thank you note. We attended a family wedding earlier this year. The gift, as requested (in a poem fgs) was cash. I am still waiting for our thank you. .

EdithWeston · 08/09/2013 14:54

You send thank you letters for all presents received (ideally before the wedding). You send any other letters you want to, just because you want to.

Guests write thank you letters to the 'formal' hosts - if not the B&G themselves, then usually parents of bride. I think it's nice if the formal hosts pass those letters on to B&G.

BackforGood · 08/09/2013 15:03

Generally I'd go with 'you thank them for the gift'. If anything, (and I don't do this, but if someone were) then it would be guests that should thank the host for 'hosting' them.
At ours, we ended up with 2 gifts that were without labels or cards though, and 4 people they could have been from, so we did end up sending all 4 of them a more 'generalised' thank you saying how lovely it was to see them, and we were overwhelmed by the love and support we'd had on the day and that people had also sent such lovely gifts, or somesuch, to cover ourselves. Grin

weddingevites · 01/11/2013 10:31

In general, you should send thank you notes to all guests who sent you a gift or had any significant role in the wedding ceremony (bridesmaids, speakers). I would also include out-of-town guests who made the effort to be at your bit day.

Some relatives you may want to thank with a personalized note while others would probably prefer a note with photographs. I guess it depends on your relationship with the relatives.

If in doubt, send more rather than less.

Mabelandrose · 14/12/2013 19:29

You don't get married to get gifts!

Send EVERYONE who attended a thank you card for sharing your special day with you.

scaevola · 14/12/2013 19:38

The guests to thanks the hosts! Not the other way round!

Just like the recipients of presents thank the donors, whether wedding, birthday, Christmas or just random generosity.

But as OP was asking back in August, it'll all have been done month ago (I hope).

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