Would you agree to a last minute sleepover?

[PantsInWash]

11 yr old DD just asked if her friend 'D' could stay over tonight for a sleepover. The friend had been here this afternoon, & DD said D was free. When I said 'no' she got stroppy and sulky & said I wasn't being fair.

I told her it was too late notice, DH is unwell (he's currently in bed fast asleep) & I don't like being sprung with last minute requests, I prefer to have things arranged in advance. I also think sleepovers are better in half term or holidays so that they have a chance to recover before school.

Privately I am not keen in this friend anyway, as I think she's she is a bad influence on my DD - always answering back, hiding copious quantities of sweets & biscuits in her room, drinking fizzy drinks &eating sweets when she isn't supposed to (she has braces) lying about what they are doing, encouraging DD to do things she knows I don't approve of etc. DD is totally different when this friend is here. Plus, last time she came for a sleepover, D & another girl spilled nail black varnish all over 2 sets of our sheets and duvets, tried to cover it up & were not even going to apologise until DD asked them to ??

Would you have said yes or no?

No

I have just had the same problem with DS and his 'friend' now they are sitting moodily watching Ant and Dec. This other Dc peed out his bedroom window when Ds had a sleepover at his. I like a weeks notice also

I currently have seven teenage boys staying here tonight (in addition to my own four teens).

It was all arranged this afternoon so totally last minute.

I'm the opposite of you, planning ahead actually makes me feel really nervous

Short notice isn't a problem- the sleepovee is. She sounds awful.

But saying no just for the sake of saying no is not on in my book. It's just a friend sleeping over- why on earth would you have to plan in advance for that? Chuck an extra handful of pasta in the pot, haul out a sleeping bag and you're sorted.

Seeker - I felt DD thought I was saying no for the sake of it. Acid made me doubt my reasoning. Perhaps if It was just two of them it might have been OK. What I find difficult is that I just don't like DD's friend, and I don't think I should tell DD that.

Acid?!?! No! Not acid!! 'That'...!

I don't mind if I like the child and they were already over, what I dislike is dc asking friends to come over right that second after school when all I want to do is curl up and snooze on the sofa for half hour before tea bath lunch boxes and bed routine starts.

Dds on a sleepover ATM, she was playing at her best friends and the girls dad rang at half 4 saying could she stay for tea and to sleep. Have no problem at all with that!

Why wouldn't you tell her if the friend is rude to you? I wouldn't have anyone in my house who'd spilled nail varnish all over my sheets and wasn't going to apologise!

(disclaimer: I don't have teenagers)

Why on earth wouldn't you explain to your dd why you said no?

I do think the short notice thing is silly though- what exactly do you have to do to prepare?

You know what, I'm not sure why I won't tell DD that I find her friend rude. I guess I think it will come out wrong and I'll end up in a row with DD. I know deep down I need to be clear about how I feel.

As for the preparation thing, yes, you're right, it wouldn't be difficult to prepare stuff. I've been reading a book about trying to say 'yes' more to pre-teens/teenagers, & there was almost exactly this last minute request scenario in the book. I could see how it would be fine to say yes, but... only if I was happy with the choice of friend (s). So in this instance I think I should really have told DD the real reason.