Thanks guys seeing my point of veiw.
when i tell family freinds that hubbys on 41k gross they think we minted but we not.
we dident buy house at right time.
now banks want 20-30%deposit.
a few years back when eldest was tiny went to barclays at time both working had combined income of £52k and got offered £125,000 not enough to buy flat where we are.
We looked into gettng on housing list stood no chance.
so we stuck i private rental with costs going up every year.
Since giving up job retail managemnet which is hard as not allowed holiday xmas and easter. 50hours a week area manager ringing all time and if childs sick getting huge lecture on how my stores more important,.
But do kind of feel like lesser person not working.
I would love to work but dont have any reliable affordble childcare and last few years sepnt looking after family allowing hubby to get promotions.
But I have been on school pta last 2years.
im on middle dd preschool committee
ocassionally help out rainbows.
peer supporter for breastfeeding running voluntry support groups at clinic . had to do 6week course with midwife.
So i guess im community minded and part of desired big soceity.
Also to me theres big difference in being a kept woman.
theres the ladies who go out for lunch, never worry about their grocery bill and reguarly go salon or shopping.
im a kept woman in sense
hubby pays rent, bills and majority of food.
i dont get pocket/pin money to spend on myself.
we both feel guilty buying ourselves stuff.
the kids always needs new things school shoes are 30-40quid a pair!
I dont like way sahm are demonised as lazy , choosing not to work and sponging off the state.
Apart from child benefit thats all we get-no other benefits.
we chose to have 3kids all 3planned and we supporting them.
or child tax credit stopped in april £40 a month which have missed,
did think could make up 40 by selling but ebay fees so high and really hard to sell things these days.
I tend to sell stuff which enables me to but new stuff.
started xmas shopping mostly sales /2nd hand to spread the cost with 3kids-it wont be an extragent xmas.
I do know people at lower income scale either unemployed or low income jobs tax credits and they never sort of worry can they afford another child as attitude is well we get extra cb and tax credits to make up shortfall, ohh could get bigger house.
I have in past looked at part time jobs even 4hour shop jobs who say must be fully flexible and unless you work in school job term time its very tricky as they have so many holidays.
Im looking for something to bring in extra money over xmas.
Its hard as copetative market.
Because I was senor manager and have degree i must seem overqualified. Really nights would be perfect but then wouldent see hubby much and be very tired in the day time.
middle dd starts school sept 2014 and youngest 2015 as have 20month gap.
want to start youngest in some kind childcare for his development. also treat all 3equally so they have chance to do clubs ect.
We could be much worse off so dont moan too much.
we live in nice area house bit small but we have nice garden and park nearby.
we budget very carefully but hard when energy and foods rises so quick.
kids never go without even if it is 2nd hand.
we manage around 4 paid days out a year the rest of time try do free stuff and cheap hols in uk as for me its about building happy memories.
I think many working families not looking for handouts.
but recognition that we bringing up workers of the future in aging population that our kids will still be paying pfi bills when they adults, the fact they may not afford to go university, they may not eb able to find well paid jobs and be living at home until they 30s, and never afford to buy a house pretty rubbish. we just need a break/breather in times of low pay rises, high inflation , low interest rates savings, low job security and rising food utilities its perfect storm theres no safety net it will be the middleclass kids that suffer.
Here they cant provide enough or decent state schools so some parents have strain of school fees too.