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If your partner was circumcised, would you have your son circumcised too?

139 replies

Nikoletta · 02/10/2012 23:00

I noticed from another thread that a few women whose partners are circumcised seemed to talk very positively about it for various reasons, either because they believed it was cleaner, or they liked the way it looked, etc.
If your partner is not circumcised, I can well understand it if you would never dream of circumcising your son, as it is not really the norm in this country anyway. But if you do have / have had a circumcised partner, and you like the fact that he is circumcised, what would you feel about having your son circumcised too?
Would it be important for son to match his father?
Would it be inconsistent for you to like the fact that the father is circumcised, but not get son circumcised?
Especially if you have familiarity with circumcision in the family, I would be interested to know your thoughts.
What would you do?

OP posts:

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ChaosTrulyReigns · 02/10/2012 23:02

Absolutely not.

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 02/10/2012 23:02

No.

ICutMyFootOnOccamsRazor · 02/10/2012 23:04

My dp is circumcised.

When ds was born, there was no way on earth I would have had him circumcised. Luckily dp felt the same and now says he does not understand how parents ever say yes to the procedure unless it's medically necessary.

expatinscotland · 02/10/2012 23:04

No.

TheFarSide · 02/10/2012 23:04

No

intravenouscoffee · 02/10/2012 23:05

No. Would only ever have circumcision (or any surgery for that matter) for a medical reason.

TodaysAGoodDay · 02/10/2012 23:05

Teaching a boy good personal hygiene is a lot better than cutting off part of his penis.

I would never circumcise my son.

TeaDr1nker · 02/10/2012 23:06

My DP is and so is my son, it was done for faith reasons.

I will wait for the barrage of 'what an awful mum I am' comments

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cynner · 02/10/2012 23:07

As I am Jewish my son and any other sons I may have will be circumcised.

ThreadWatcher · 02/10/2012 23:07

No

Nikoletta · 02/10/2012 23:13

I think if you're used to it being in the family, it's much more likely that you'll be more at ease with having your own son circumcised.
Whereas if you're not that used to it (except if done for medical reasons) people think it's a very extreme thing to do.
That's at least been my observation from personal experience and people that I know. So I guess it accounts for the strong views one way or the other.

OP posts:

Devora · 02/10/2012 23:16

Only if I was Jewish. Which I am. But I also have only daughters.

[Lines up with TeaD and cynner for execution by MN firing squad.]

Nikoletta · 02/10/2012 23:21

I think if you are Jewish, the decision of whether or not to circumcise your son must be an easy one to make. It's just part of your identity and religion.
On the other hand, I can see how some people might struggle with the decision if there is less of a requirement, but more of a desire or preference to do it.

OP posts:

AndiMac · 02/10/2012 23:22

It's fairly common, even now still, in North America. I'm pretty used to it from encounters in my sowing oat days there, my nephew is and my DH is as well.

I did not and would not circumcise my son for any thing other than necessary medical reasons.

Nikoletta · 02/10/2012 23:24

AndiMac, so your DH is happy for your son to have been spared the snip? Was it an easy decision for you as a couple to make? Or was there a bit of a debate before you made up your minds? (Hope you don't mind me asking!)

OP posts:

cynner · 02/10/2012 23:26

Devora · 02/10/2012 23:30

For me, it is an easy decision. Do I believe circumcision is part of my covenant with God? If yes, then I would have my child circumcised. If no, then I wouldn't.

Devora · 02/10/2012 23:30

cynner, are you SURE?

AndiMac · 02/10/2012 23:36

It never really came up for discussion as a possibility. When my mother was over for his birth, she asked casually (obv based on her other grandson being circumcised) if we would be getting him circumcised and I replied in a horrified tone, "No, of course not!" and I think that was the first time we even thought of it, or at least me, and DH says he never really considered it either.

I just asked him if he was bothered that DS wasn't "the same" as him. He just shrugged and simply said no. With no hidden subtext, he's honestly not bothered.

For me, not being the same as the dad is sort of like my children don't have my last name. But I don't need that to be the same for me to know they are my kids.

Nikoletta · 02/10/2012 23:42

Interesting. Thanks for that.
I kind of went in the direction of family tradition, and had my boys circumcised mainly because their dad is. But I'm wondering now whether I would have done the same again. My eldest has started to ask questions about why he looks different from most of his friends at school. I can't really reverse the irreversible, so I guess the main thing is to make them feel OK about being circumcised. It may not be the norm, but many boys are.

OP posts:

YUNoSaySomethingNice · 02/10/2012 23:46

No DH is, for medical reasons, DS's aren't. Gave the issue no thought whatsoever.

AndiMac · 02/10/2012 23:51

I asked a school friend when I was back home what she had done with her three boys and she said she had had them done because her DH wanted them to be the same as him. She said by the third boy, she wouldn't have done him except for the fact that being different from his brothers seemed an even bigger difference than being different from his dad, so they got a matching set.

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Nikoletta · 02/10/2012 23:55

Well I'm sort of in that situation too. Two boys already, both circumcised, and one more boy on the way. I guess we may as well have the third done like the rest of his family. I'm sure that it will be strange if he's the odd one out in his family.

OP posts:

3duracellbunnies · 03/10/2012 00:03

We did consider it as dh and FIL both had to have it done for medical reasons and have strong memories. I seriously considered it as wanted to spare him the trauma of surgery later on. I even rang for some prices and sought recommendations. We didn't as he needed a hernia repair and that was the priority.

He is now 3 and intact and due to his great love of his willie he has stretched it considerably and I don't think it will be an issue. Might have made it less appealing as a portable toy though. If we had had it done I wouldn't feel guilty as I would still have rather him have it as a baby than wait and him needing an op later on, which I think would be more traumatic. I think I would feel worse now if he did need a circumcision and we hadn't done it when he was little, than if I had done it and it might have been unnecessary (assuming that it had all gone well). We weren't to know how much he likes to tug things!

I don't think he has particularly noticed the differences yet to dh.

FairPhyllis · 03/10/2012 00:16

Yes, if my partner was Jewish and it was important to him or his family (I'm not Jewish though).

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