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Original poster

Returning a favour for someone - is it ok to do it on my terms?

15 replies

PoppyWearer · 25/09/2012 20:38

I bumped into an acquaintance really to whom I owed a favour. Nothing major, but she had helped us out a while ago with something.

She asked me if I would help her in return by delivering some leaflets about a fundraising event around my road and immediate area - about 120 leaflets in total, should take a couple of hours. I agreed to do it, it seemed like a fair repayment for the favour she did us.

The fundraising leaflets have been dropped off and they are fine, but with them there are some leaflets about one of the main political parties, it seems they are also to be delivered with the fundraising ones.

I'm not a party-political person and am happy to deliver the fundraising ones but don't want to deliver the political ones as I don't want my neighbours (many of whom are my friends and also mums from DD's school) to think I endorse the party in question. I don't have anything against the party and have even voted for them in the past, but this doesn't sit comfortably with me.

What I want to do is just deliver the fundraising ones and then "lose" the rest in the recycling. I very much doubt this will ever be found out by the lady in question. WWYD?

OP posts:
Catsdontcare · 25/09/2012 20:44

I think you should either deliver them or tell her you don't want to. I think it would be a bit shitty to throw them away and pretend you had done her a favour.

Catsdontcare · 25/09/2012 20:45

I think your reasons for not wanting to deliver them are perfectly valid by the way.

BoysBoysBoysAndMe · 25/09/2012 20:46

I'd just deliver them.

If anyone queried it you can put them straight. Or you could always deliver in the cover of darkness Wink

hermioneweasley · 25/09/2012 20:47

Poppy, I am shocked. You would be doing a huge disservice and she would rightly be furious. Tell her you're not comfortable including the political ones and ask if she still wants you to do the fundraising ones.

suburbophobe · 25/09/2012 20:51

I agree, be upfront about not wanting to deliver the political ones. She can't really expect you to anyway.

She did say they were fundraising ones, after all. She never mentioned the political ones I presume...

Original poster
PoppyWearer · 25/09/2012 20:53

The thing is, she only told me about the fundraising ones, and that's what I agreed to do. I feel like she's been a bit sneaky.

I suppose I could deliver the political ones as well either a) when I know no one's looking or b) to the houses I don't know. Confused

BTW the favour she did for us was a "oh, cheers, thanks" type of favour, rather than a "ohmigod you saved my life" type.

OP posts:
Original poster
PoppyWearer · 25/09/2012 20:54

X-post with suburbophobe - correct!

OP posts:
PuffPants · 25/09/2012 20:55

You need to tell her you are not happy to deliver the political ones and give them back to her.

What did she do for you to warrant two hours of voluntary work in exchange? Confused

Original poster
PoppyWearer · 25/09/2012 20:55

I've just realised I don't have her number. She has my number and calls my land line. So telling her not an option.

OP posts:
Original poster
PoppyWearer · 25/09/2012 21:00

She's a travel agent and helped us with researching and booking a dream holiday outside of her work, probably a couple of hours of her time, I think this feels about right as a way to repay her time - she would have had to do it otherwise.

OP posts:
lisaro · 25/09/2012 21:03

There should be some contact details about the fundraiser. You should be able to contact her through those. Not wanting to deliver leaflets you didn't agree to is understandable. Just hold onto them and return them for her.
BUT I think this is a big lead up to something............Let's see what comes out next.

Ferrybridge · 25/09/2012 21:03

TBH I think to point out to you that you owed her a favour was a bit off. The usual way it works is that you do someone a favour and then at a later date when you need some help you feel more comfortable asking because you know you've "earned" it, but you don't say "Oi, you know that favour you owe me..."

Was a timescale agreed for the deliveries? Can you really not get in touch/won't bump into her over the next few days? Maybe other acquaintances have her number? The political party/charity know who they've asked to deliver leaflets?

I think you need to find a way of telling her you don't want to deliver the political ones

lisaro · 25/09/2012 21:04

Return them TO her - you will see her again.

LilyCocoplatt · 02/10/2012 21:35

I would just deliver both kinds of leaflet, think you are overthinking it to be honest, if someone delivered a leaflet through my door then it wouldn't really occur to me to associate that person with the content of the leaflet and think they were endorsing it, I would just think they were doing it for a bit of extra money towards christmas pressies or something.

Original poster
PoppyWearer · 04/10/2012 17:27

Because I hate it when the OP doesn't come back with an update, I'm back.

All done and dusted. I WAS over thinking, but mostly I was worried about mums from school and what they might think of me, as DD is brand new at school and already a bit awkward socially.

What I did was put my baby DS into Childcare (at my own expense) for a couple of hours, bit the bullet and delivered them all. Well, nearly all - I didn't put the political ones through the letter boxes of people I know well, nor the Tory-campaigning couple a few doors down!

I did see a couple of people I know and just mumbled something about "doing a favour". Luckily none of the school mums.

But I did it. Favour repaid. Phew!

OP posts:
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