men and sex

[EndoJ]

I'm not a mum, but i am a student that looks after children frequently, so i can definitely relate to some of you.
However, that's not what i want to talk about. Because many of you have experience in life that i do not, i want to seek words of wisdom from you mumsnetters.
As a 23 year old i am fairly unexperienced with men, but i have had dates and one night stands in the past. Whilst i don't regret the latter, i feel used and cheap and stopped having these one nighters about a year ago in a hope to find a partner that doen't want me just for my body/sex.
Even after dating i am afraid that men might do it to get me into bed and therefore feel a bit awkward, so how can i tell whether a man wants a relationship with me or not?
I was dating someone on and off for a whole year, i met him at a party in his home town, but he had to finish at uni. He doesn't want to date me anymore because he doen't want commitment, so he occasionally came round to my house at night for sexual acts. This i did reluctantly, but refuse to any more.
I want to meet a nice guy, but one that i find sexually attractive.
How do i find the one i am looking for or determine what they want?

You sound a bit like you might be viewing sex as something which you can give to men for good behaviour or in payment for a date. You don't have to have sex with someone as a favour or because you think you owe them. Its perfectly acceptable to insist on going halves on dates and then at the end of the night say 'this was fun, we must do it again sometime.' and if it actually was fun then arrange another date.

Have you actually found any of the people you have had sex with sexually attractive?

I have found all of the men i have been on a date with and had sex with very sexually attractive, unlike men who can look past that easily (that's what pisses me off) lol

I think the trick is to not look for theses things.

MY OH and I were very good friends before we got together. I was a regular in the pub he worked at, so we saw each other a couple of times a week. Over about 18 months we became closer and closer friends, and then one night it just...happened. This was over a year ago, and we're still happy . Nice, sexy fun guys exist.

Focus on getting to know people. Whether or not you have sex with them is your business, but TBH, the way you'll know if they want a relationship with you is...

THEY'LL TELL YOU!!

Men don't have secret languages or codes, they don't drop hints, and they are anything but subtle. I think us women just have a tendency to read into it too much.

Good luck, and let me know when you do meet someone awesome
xx