Hello,
I have already written this but pressed the wrong button and it disappeared. I'm very very new here so I'm really not up to scratch with abbreviations etc so please forgive me if it's too long.
Dh and I have been together ten years. We run a company together that I had a massive part in transforming and making it what it is today. We also have two children the youngest being 5. We have been through a massive amount of thins together, unfortunately mostly traumatic stuff but we definitely love each other. We have no contact with either of our families as neither of us were blessed when it came to having decent families.
The thing I need help with us about what I have done. I feel so damn ashamed and I know he'll be gunning for me later. I'm actually scared of the confrontation that I have created for myself. I knew it would happen one day.
Dh controls all of he finances. All household bills come out of the business account so does that mean we both kind of pay as we work for the same company? He has full access to the money hat comes into the business either cash or accounts. I have no access. I take a minimal payment of £500 per month from the business and that has I pay my fuel expenses and all household food. It's so hard to live on that amount of money especially when he kids news new things like shoes and clothes. It's impossible. If I want or need more money, I have to go through dh and he will determine if it's worthy or not. I'm 32 by the way. He's 38. Because of this struggling and his reluctance to hand over money that is needed, I started to use a cc but his the statements. To my absolute horror, I found out last night that he's found the statements. He walked out this morning not saying a word but I know it'll be brewing so I'm staying out of work today. I have been paying off the cc so it's not like it's in arrears or anything, I was just using it abut hiding the evidence. I feel like I'm about 10 and been caught red handed. I'm so ashamed, he'll never have any respect for me ever again after this. When I complain about not having enough money, he says to go and get adult time job elsewhere which I think is unfair as I work so damn hard for the business and I'm crucial to it. I have gained and retained a lot of new custom. Of course he works hard too. But, he has that one thing to think and worry about. I have that, the home, kids and shopping to deal with. You know the usual things of cleaning, cooking washing bla bla. He does nothing at home at all and I don't expect him too.
God I feel stupid