you know that bloke that does all the nature reporting on the one show and springwatch etc...

[nevergoogle]

i have no idea how he ever gets close any wildlife at all, jeez that man can bloody talk.

today, he jibber jabbered in the airport terminal in front of me in the queue, he jibber jabbered up the steps and onto the plane, then...no word of a lie, i exaggerate noteth, he jibber jabbered the entire flight and was still at it upon leaving the plane.

he did NOT stop. bless his cotton socks and all that but how one earth does he manage in a bird hide?

Simon King, for example, needs to just shoosh for a minute so i can think.

Maybe he has to use all his words up so he can be quiet in the hide?

Simon King?

Noooooo! Was it really him? I was expecting you to say it was that Chris bloke who used to do kids' telly when I was a lass.

sorry, no it was mike dilger. (who looks exactly the same).

apologies to simon king.

Ah, that's okay then. I have a teeny crush on Simon King and always thought he was a quiet sort of chap so I was a bit disappointed.

Bill Oddie never shuts up either. Maybe it's a natural side effect of having to be silent for vast tracts of the day whilst you wait for the lesser-spotted purple pigtail to appear.

i don't know about that, i saw kate bimble-bumble at an airport once and she was quite serene.

Kate always appears serene, even when she's elbow deep in a sheep's nether regions.

Or sitting next to Bill Oddie while he witters on and nicks all her cues and lines.

I'd mallet him with the binoculars after 5 minutes.

This reminds me of a flight I was on, when a Welsh guy who had just won (or nearly won) Big Brother was in the seat directly behind me. Bloody hell could he talk. I don't think he took a breath during the entire flight. My ears were bleeding by the end.

I irrationally hate Kate Humble purely because DP once confessed to fancying her-not because I'm jealous but because I'm cross that he fancies someone so crappy

as I feel it reflects badly on me somehow

i'm not surprised they don't let him in the studios often.

shhhhuuuuuuttttttuuuuuppppp!

he must have said 'the one show' about 10 times quite clearly on the parts i couldn't avoid hearing clearly, the rest was just jibber jabber like i say.

the 4 month old baby beside me was much better company.

all husbands like kate humble though don't they. she's all glowy and wholesome looking.
i reckon she'd be a bit hard work though.
(not like me who as you can see has unruffleable feathers)

I imagine KH would be irritatingly hearty in the mornings

yup, she'd be mixing up her home made muesli while doing lunges across the kitchen to get the manuka honey.

actually I am quite wholesome-but about a stone overweight and a lot less glowy.

and more likely to be clutching a mug of tea and a bacon sandwich

i will watch him on the telly in a whole new light from now on.

My dp really dislikes Kate H he says she has the 'dead cold eyes of a shark' I always thought she seemed alright!