Darling Benedict
Sweetheart: I need your body advice body.
Sod it, what are you doing tonight for the next week for the foreseeable future?
The good news is that I have a totally Addictlets-less house.
Primus and SO have gone home - taking Minimus with them for some Work Experience ( hopefully this will include the little niceties in life, such as washing, getting out of bed and turning up to work - not to mention Communicating Other Than In Grunts.)
SO's mother has finally Gone Home - threatening never to set foot inside my house again - this can only be a Good Thing.
Secundus and Tertius have gone camping - a phrase which, in this house, as you are aware, has one of several different meanings.
OH - or rather ex-OH - is still at his mother's.
The problem is that, since I last lusted over your body, Secundus and Tertius have attempted to set me up on a series of blind dates, all of which have been totally disasterous.
Mainly because (a) there is a paucity of even vaguely interesting men in this area (b) none of them match up to you.
Let me cut to the chase.
(i) I have an empty house;
(ii) I have two unopened bottles of champagne, a box of scented candles, a black basque which is - to be honest - going to waste, and - need I emphasise this again? - the house to myself;
(iii) I fancy you something rotten;
(iv) I also have an exceedingly vivid imagination. Just in case you run out of ideas.
How about it?
Just give me half an hour to squeeze myself into the basque.
Lustingly yours
The Addict
PS: Key under the tortoise.