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Too scared to do AIBU - DD and school trousers

56 replies

remote · 17/05/2012 17:11

Bit trivial in the scheme of things - also light hearted just wondering whether people agree?

DD is 13. When she started Y8 we bought her 2 pairs of black school trousers. They are not awful but plain. School made a big thing about hem not being allowed to wear "fashion" styles so we went for something plain and boring. Of course, school actually don't give a rats arse what kind of trousers they wear as long as they are black so DD now has some awful lycra containing skinny trousers that she bought with her own money.

These however are now falling apart and have a hole in the seam where the zip would be if they had a fly. She is asking me/DH to buy her a new pair, I say no, there are still 2 pairs of perfectly ok trousers in the wardrobe hardly worn, she is in a strop and wants me to lend her the money until she gets her pocket money, I still say no.

I am not going to stop her buying them with her own money but I don't feel lending her the money is a good example as it's not something I agree with for non essential items.

Am I being.... you know, unreasonable?

(sorry - that is very long and boring!!!)

OP posts:
Ambrosius · 17/05/2012 17:15

I would not lend her the money!

dwpanxt · 17/05/2012 17:16

Agree wholeheartedly. Stick to your guns. Let her pay for new trousers if she wants them

Its all schools fault of course .I hate it when there is a rule ,you stick to the rule but then it doesnt get enforced .Angry

TequilaMockinBird · 17/05/2012 17:19

Oh god I have one of these DDs too!

£10 a pair trousers which get holes in the seams and all the elastic starts fraying through them so that they look hairy Grin

I have bought them for DD in the past but as they need replaced every week month, she buys them herself now!

Melindaaa · 17/05/2012 17:22

I'd lend her the money. I remember being the girl who wore the 'wrong' clothes, and it isn't fun being picked on because you are the only one who doesn't fit it.

I will never make my children look like the odd ones out.

noonar · 17/05/2012 17:25

aw, come one remote, you can remember what peer pressure feels like! don't make your dd wear geeky trousers.

if the others fell apart prematurely, why not take them back to shop on her behalf?

turnigitonitshead · 17/05/2012 17:27

lend her the money

piratecat · 17/05/2012 17:31

flog the others on ebay? free ads? and then

give her the money. i wouldn't make my dd wear something she was embarrassed about, it's not her fault the school made out she had to have the horrid ones, and all her friends are wearing groovy ones.


noonar · 17/05/2012 17:32

do you ever buy yourself a new item of clothing because you feel uncomfortable in the item you have already? maybe a pair of jeans that still have wear in them but don't flatter your shape? how would you like to wear those nasty jeans and be forbidden to buy another pair?

i agree that in an ideal world appearances should not matter, but in reality, we all feel like your DD at some point (unless our name is mary beard Grin)

noonar · 17/05/2012 17:33

sorry, my last post read like a trashy magazine article Grin lol

jaquelinehyde · 17/05/2012 17:33

I wouldn't lend her the money, a couple of days in different trousers won't do her any harm at all.

HeathRobinson · 17/05/2012 17:33

Or ring the school and get them to do a uniform clampdown, so everyone wears the ordinary sort? Wink

Ginismyfriend · 17/05/2012 17:34

Lend her the money - my parents made me wear the regulation duffle coat they'd bought me (can see why - it must have cost them a fortune) but everyone else was in puffa jackets (the latest thing! Ha!). It was miserable.

And the bloody thing never wore out. I could have graduated in that duffle coat. Don't make her be posting things like this in another ten years!

turnigitonitshead · 17/05/2012 17:36

lending her the money wont do any harm either

PissyDust · 17/05/2012 17:36

I would loan her the money for new ones, I was that child that had to pretend her baggy jeans were really flares!

My mum thought flares were stupid she was right but I was the only one that didn't own a pair.

Stuart456 · 17/05/2012 17:37

Offer her a way to earn the money.

Guadalupe · 17/05/2012 17:37

I don't know, I'd probably give her the money.

I remember feeling really crap aged 12 as everyone else, and I mean all my friends, had a swishy light cotton skirt that flared out when you twizzled and I had a pleated grey one with a stiff panel at the front as you could only get them from certain shops with uniform vouchers.

It didn't kill me, no, but my word how I yearned for a swishy skirt.

LoonyRationalist · 17/05/2012 17:38

Another one who was in the wrong uniform here, this is something easy you can do for your DD. I'm all for not bowing to pressure but this seems a small thing and is important to her, is it a battle worth having? Buy them for her, that way you get some say & she is happy too.

ChippyMinton · 17/05/2012 17:38

Giver her an advance on her pocket money

fussbucket · 17/05/2012 17:39

How long will it be before she's actually due the pocket money she wants you to lend her in advance?

Fairenuff · 17/05/2012 17:41

If it matters that much to her, how about a compromise?

She does extra jobs to help around the house and earns the money to buy new trousers of her choice. If she doesn't want to do that, then she wears the ones you have already fot her.

suburbandream · 17/05/2012 17:43

Was just going to say make her do chores! Fairenuff beat me to it.

storminabuttercup · 17/05/2012 17:44

I'd buy her some tbh, I was the only girl in my year with a 'below the knee skirt' I hated it

balia · 17/05/2012 17:45

When DD got to about that age and we started having these kind of arguments, I opened her a proper bank account with a little cash card she could use in the hole in the wall and shops. We agreed she would get a certain amount each month and this was to cover all her own expenses - toiletries, make up, clothes, everything. She was fantastic with it! She made a few mistakes (don't we all) but generally she made really sensible decisions with her own money.

I remember one late August going into town with her - she had looked up all the most trendy school clothes and then searched for cheaper but similar-looking versions. She knew exactly where we needed to go, it took about 45 minutes to get her kitted out, and she was really proud of herself.

Olympia2012 · 17/05/2012 17:45

Split on the seam? Stitch them, it's not long til school is out for summer!

JeanBodel · 17/05/2012 17:46

I wouldn't make a 13 year old girl go to school in dorky trousers if there was another option. I remember being 13.

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