Too scared to do AIBU - DD and school trousers

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Bit trivial in the scheme of things - also light hearted just wondering whether people agree?

DD is 13. When she started Y8 we bought her 2 pairs of black school trousers. They are not awful but plain. School made a big thing about hem not being allowed to wear "fashion" styles so we went for something plain and boring. Of course, school actually don't give a rats arse what kind of trousers they wear as long as they are black so DD now has some awful lycra containing skinny trousers that she bought with her own money.

These however are now falling apart and have a hole in the seam where the zip would be if they had a fly. She is asking me/DH to buy her a new pair, I say no, there are still 2 pairs of perfectly ok trousers in the wardrobe hardly worn, she is in a strop and wants me to lend her the money until she gets her pocket money, I still say no.

I am not going to stop her buying them with her own money but I don't feel lending her the money is a good example as it's not something I agree with for non essential items.

Am I being.... you know, unreasonable?

(sorry - that is very long and boring!!!)

I'd lend her the money assuming she can and will pay it back. It wasn't long ago I was in school and being made fun.of for geeky trousers that flapped around the ankles (I was tall) because my mum liked to stick to regulation uniform and my friends had nice skinny trousers on that looked fab.

thanks for those nice words bbface

the thing is, I do have a pretty shit relationship with my Mum and actually what mosman said hit a nerve.

The trouble with having a bad relationship with your Mum is that you try so hard as a parent yourself to get it right that you often get it spectacularly wrong.

I will enjoy my shopping trip with DD and I will raise my latte to MNers because this thread has really helped me get some perspective and made me realise that what's important to me is that DD is kind and thoughtful, not what kind of trousers she has. I see now that it is also important not to trivialise things (another thing my DM does).

sorry for the slush, just grateful as is my Now very happy DD!

Not sure about the trousers but my response to letting her borrow money til she gets pocket money would be............it would be very irresponsible of me to let you and help you to get into debt. However if you want to do X

aw! how sweet!

what a lovely outcome!

I'm so soppy.

Sorry x posted OP. Glad you've come to a decision you feel at ease with . Happy shopping :)

Just read this through and I think it was a great question with a lovely outcome! When I was about 13 my mum started giving me 'my' child benefit and I had to buy my own clothes and toiletries. Mum still bought the 'big' things - decent winter coat, good pair of shoes etc - but I did the rest. So easy!