Let?s face it, pre-children none of us has any idea what it?s all about. We probably aren?t the most sympathetic of people to our newly-burdoned-with-child friends. Let me share one particular story with you. It is about one of my best friends, Rachel. Rachel and I were friends from school. We did everything together and were thick as thieves. We travelled together, flatted together, holidayed together and were bridesmaids at each others weddings. When Rachel phoned me from Hong Kong, where she was living at the time, to tell me that she was pregnant, I felt like I had been hit with a ton of bricks. I wasn?t jealous. Far from it ? it was the last thing I wanted for myself at that time in my life. I was doing very well as I was, thank you very much. Things carried on pretty much as normal until the birth of Rachel?s first child. Overnight Rachel?s world was tipped upside-down. Her baby didn?t settle and cried constantly. She was exhausted, sore and emotional. What she needed was someone to understand. To take the baby away and give her a break. To provide a shoulder to cry on. To listen to her talk. To know what she was going through. I didn?t. I wanted to be that friend but I didn?t understand. Whilst I wanted to catch up? to go for a drink. Rachel just wanted to curl up into a ball and sleep. Whilst I wanted to go browsing around the shops with my friend and out for coffee, Rachel?s day was filled with feeding and napping and burping. Whilst I wanted to talk about all the things we used to talk about pre-baby, Rachel?s world was baby and all that involved. Whilst I wanted to plan for future nights out and get-togethers, Rachel couldn?t think beyond that afternoon. She was in the ?baby haze? ? that all-consuming time in your life where there is nothing beyond that day and the four walls you are living in. At some point in the future I would arrive in my own ?haze?, but not for some years. Do you have similar stories or experiences? Names have been changed to protect friendships.
Love Jacqui from www.ifonlytheytoldme.com