Managed to get away with watching the William Golding programme without OH catching on (though he did say 'Ah, that's why we're watching it'...) - in any case he thought that BC was the best of the readers: 'the man's clearly intelligent; it's obvious why you rate him as an actor'). Close, but not that close...
Anyway, I found this: don't know where it originates from, but it's my BC-ish offering of the day. Enjoy, while I contemplate applying Savlon to BC's scars...
'Twas dismal, and the sirened cars
Did wail and rumble in the street:
All baffled were the inspectors,
And the DI sighed deep.
"Beware the brash Sherlock, Watson!
The words that bite, the eyes that catch!
Beware the deadly mind, and shun
The frumious Cumberbatch!"
He took his trusty cane in hand:
Long time the brazen Holmes he sought -
So rested he by the London Bridge,
And stood awhile in thought.
And as in uffish thought he stood,
The fierce Sherlock, with eyes of flame,
Came gliding through the London 'hood,
To take John on his way!
Left, right! Left, right! And through and through
The bonded pair ran roof and road!
He left the cane, and with no pain
He'd found they were back home.
"And why's thou with the freak Sherlock?
You did not heed my warning, John!
He's not your friend, he'll be your end!"
She grumbled til they'd gone.
'Twas dismal, and the sirened cars
Did wail and rumble in the street:
All baffled were the inspectors,
And the DI sighed deep.