Some of our rudest relatives will be arriving tomorrow, but how do I work out who is the rudest and preserve my sanity at the same time? Please help me work out a scorecard system which marks bad behaviour and genral goading. So that i can laugh serenely at all their efforts to wind me up.
First to 100 points wins
Failure to say hello 10 points
'gift' of left over turkey (its the 27th and it really ought to be refrigerated by now) 5 points
Farting in public (because we are not paying you enough attention) 10 points
criticizing the cat (he is a cat) 5 points
Breaking stuff accidentally on purpose 10 points
Stealing books (they are my books not dh's) 10 points
Snide remarks (why be nasty?) 15 points
Finding and drinking treats that have been put away for another day 10 points
Making a song and dance about sitting down in the right place at the right time in a strong chair when i am catering for 16 10 points
Inviting very difficult aunty, only telling hosts about this on her arrival 10 points
Duping unsuspecting relatives to bring the very difficult aunty 10 points
'Helping' by obtaining exactly EXACTLY the right method and full instructions of peeling each potatoe from your busy host while they cook for 16 and you nose through all the kitchen cupboards (on the very unlikely chance that help is offerd) 10 points
I'm sure I've forgotton many scoreworthy wind up antics . Please add any that really should be scored highly.