Would one of you draft an email for me? I can't do it without being bitter

[Pagwatch]

For my birthday I have invited 10 people to a weekend away. I hate people having to spend money in order to celebrate your event so dh and I kept the numbers really really low so that we could fund most of it but so that it would be a treat.

So we are paying for hotel and spa, dinner and breakfast. The hotel is very expensive as is the day at the attached spa. I was also intending to but drinks
The invitation explains clearly that the only things guests would have to pay for is lunch (which can obviously just be a salad or sandwich as we have big dinner paid for and booked) and any spa treatment.

So, my mother kept telling my sister (also invited) that she would like a treatment but didn't know how to book it. So sister phoned me and I phoned my mother. Quite why she couldn't phone me in the first place escapes me but hey...
I talked her through the treatments, explained that she doesn't have to have one but it is up to her. I reminded her that I had sent her a full treatment list and if she was worried about booking she could call me. I spoke to her for half an hour. She promised to call me back.

Instead, on my birthday, I get an email from my sister saying that 'mum asked me to book a facial so I have booked it for her. Will you go halves with me to pay for it'

I am really struggling to find a way to reply that doesn't include 'oh for fucks sake.' and 'so the only things you have to pay for are food and treatments but you want me to pay for treatments'

Draft something tactful would you? I will send the best one.
Dh is paying everything possible in advance so that I didn't have to get involved in that but I suppose I should give my sister a cheque?

I would get my DH to ring up your mum / sis and suggest to them that they treat YOU to a day's worth of expensive treatments as your birthday surprise. That he feels you should not have to spend money as it is your birthday and he's sure they agree. Now, how would they like to pay?

He can feign complete ignorance of their request to you.

I would email 'what a great idea, but I wonder if we should make it Mum's Christmas present? Only, I would hate for her to feel uncomfortable with me paying half for this after paying for the hotel and the dinner etc. If we say it's for Christmas then she may feel happier accepting my contribution, I'm just thinking she may worry after the invitation was so clear about what was included'. And I would hope that what would be read into that was 'are you bloody joking!' but in a very passive aggressive way

We are outstanding at passive aggressive aren't we

It has moved on a bit and in a good way !

I went with hully and others, gritted my teeth and replied 'yes, of course'
Then my lovely sis phoned up and said she had thought about it and realised it was all a bit off but my mum had manoeuvred her into booking it and as it is sooooo expensive she was a bit stuck really (mum had chosen a £120 treatment)

We had a mutual whine about how increasingly manipulative mum is. But then we talked about how old she is getting. And rarely she gets a chance to do new things or treats anymore. And that we both miss dad. And then we cried a bit...

So I am going to pay half and sis is going to pay half as a Christmas present. And sis is super organized so she will stick to it.

So thank you all for your ideas and suggestions and for letting me whinge a bit.

well done PAG that sounds like a good plan. Now, Stick To The Plan!

Aww it all ended nicely :)

Stick to it Paggykins. And your sister sounds ossom.

Good ole cyst

I hope they bloody well thank you for your hospitality THIS time.

If they don't, I'll happily go round and scream at them.

Can't stand people who take advantage of the good natured.

BTW, Happy Birthday when it comes.

Thanks.
My sis is lovely.