Husband rubbish at cleaning

[HumanBehaviour]

Our house was a bit of a mess this morning. Husband did notice this and grabbed the hoover and started hoovering. All good so far.

The thing is that he doesn't do it properly. There were cushions from the sofa, toys and some socks lying on the floor. Also, dishes on the work tops which needed to be put in the dishwasher etc. In my opinion, you pick things up and clean the work tops before you hoover, but he just hoovered and pushed the things on the floor around with the hoover to be able to hoover where they were lying.

After he hoovered he told me he was knackered and thought the cleaning was done for the day, thinking he had done a great job.

So, what would you do? Would you be really happy that he hoovered without you having to tell him even if it was not properly done (didn't hoover under sofas). Or would you tell him to do it properly?

I am now left with cleaning the rest of the house, he only hoovered downstairs and didn't do anything else.

Has he always been so able to get away with it?

Did he never live alone pre you?

Think you might need a copy of 'Wifework' (Mausart) and get to feminism boards...

Could you not just make a list of everything that needs doing in the house, and then divide up the jobs? I can't tell if this is just a 'it's Sunday let's not do housework all day' or 'Well done me I've done some of my wife's jobs' situation.

Lot of people are shit at housework, male or female, it's not automatically a wifework issue in every case. I don't know the background in your case though.

Housework is like anything else. If you don't know how to do it properly then you learn how. If you know the theory but still can't do it properly then you practise.

If hoovering one room left him feeling tired then your dh obviously needs to learn how to build up his stamina. And the best way to do that is to get lots of practice.

If he were my dh he'd have a quick break for a cuppa and sit-down and then he would be reintroduced to the hoover.

I don't think it's about being able to get away with it, I think he can't actually SEE that it isn't done properly. He has always cleaned like this. If he is hanging the washing he doesn't pull the clothes straight so they dry all crinkled up, when he puts things in the dishwasher he doesn't arrange it to make sure as much as possible fits in and when he make beds he just pulls the top cover straight.

He has never lived alone, first with his mum ho did EVERYTHING for him and then he had a 13 year relationship with a woman, don't know what he was like then.

Will definitely try to find that book!

We have said to clean the house today, together. And he has apparently done his part now.

I don't work, I stay at home with our two kids at the moment so he probably thinks its my job. Which I agree with during weekdays, but not at weekends.

I show dh what needs re-doing then when he sighs say "sorry there's no cleaning lady" lol at Coldtoast "reintroduce him to the Hoover".

@HumanBehaviour I understand what you mean about not seeing things having lived with some v messy people in my time!

People do see things differently, so is there anythign he does see. DP doesn't see that the bathroom floor needs to be cleaned and I don't see that the sofa needs to be hoovered so we have different jobs.

Plus things like stacking the dishwasher the right way. Isn't that like in the top 5 causes of household arguments or something. People who rattle on about the right way to do it really piss me off actually! Luckily we don't have one