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Original poster

Should you mark other people's wedding anniversaries?

17 replies

redexpat · 04/10/2011 23:35

Hi
DH and I just had our first wedding anniversary, and I was rather surprised to get a few cards and texts. The thing is, I've never seen my parents get any cards from anyone other than each other, and they don't send them either.

So I'm a bit confused - could someone set me straight please?

OP posts:

Trills · 04/10/2011 23:39

I wouldn't expect anyone to mark a wedding anniversary that was not their own with anything more than a "hey, I just remembered it's your anniversary, congratulations" (if they were standing next to you and happened to think of it)

Alibabaandthe80nappies · 04/10/2011 23:41

If we see friends very near to an anniversary date, or happen to speak to family (SIL, DBrother etc) then we would wish them a happy day or perhaps give a card - or share a bottle of bubbles if we were with them!

Other than that, no - we get anniversary cards from our parents but not from anyone else.

I think it is a private anniversary, and it doesn't really have significance for anyone other than the couple and perhaps very close family.

afishcalledmummy · 07/10/2011 08:23

I try to mark at least the first anniversary of our friends, particularly if either DH or I have been involved in the wedding party, but after that first year I don't send cards. Maybe that's why you have received cards this year, because it's your first anniversary?

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Pfriend · 08/10/2011 21:08

I think a few people marked our first anniversary. A few years later and we just get a card from my parents, which DH still thinks is weird. I don't think I have ever sent an anniversary card to anyone other than my DH.

Tortington · 08/10/2011 21:09

my inlaws expect it
i wquite see it between dh and i

PinterestQueen · 08/10/2011 22:09

That was kind of people mark the occasion!

I find it hard enough to remember my own, let alone expect others to

rhetorician · 08/10/2011 22:11

only really big ones, perhaps (25, 40 and 50); we 'mark' SIL and BIL's anniversaries by timely offers to babysit.

scaevola · 08/10/2011 22:18

I wouldn't expect to mark someone else's wedding anniversary. My mother does send a card for mine, which I like and appreciate, but I didn't expect it, and I don't expect it of anyone else.

And I'd only expect the marking of the landmark ones like 25th if we were throwing a party, and even then only because of the party.

cat64 · 08/10/2011 22:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

redexpat · 10/10/2011 22:55

Well all of those responses make sense, thanks all!

OP posts:

Upsy1981 · 19/10/2011 19:32

My mum always told me that the 'done thing' was to send a card on the first anniversary if you had been to the wedding so that is what I've always done. We normally get a card from ILs but that's it these days.

LifesComplicated · 16/05/2012 15:11

My MiL always sends us a card (for the past 5 years since we wed) and tbh I find it a bit creepy and inexplicably irritating! I think it annoys me as it seems alien to me (it's never been the done thing in my side of the family) but also as I see my wedding anniversary as a private and romantic special day between me and DH, a bit like Valentines' Day, so it seems a bit almost meddling to get a "ta-da! You're in love!" card through the post from the MiL. I feel wierdly creeped-out by it. I have therefore never thanked them for sending them (I don't want to encourage them) and we don't send them (or anyone else we know) cards for their anniversaries.

Mummy2FE · 10/06/2012 11:40

We got a lot of cards on our first wedding anniversary but a few years down the line we just get them from parents and grandparents and the odd Aunt and Uncle.

We too have sent first anniversary cards to people whose weddings we were involved in. After that first year we have always sent a quick text to remember the date and wish them a lovely day.

Always send anniversary cards to parents each year.

bacon · 27/08/2012 23:29

My mother always sends a card but MIL doesnt. Yet we dont send a card to each other - but is it necessary????

I was also surprised on our first anniversary that no one mentioned it. I think parents should acknowledge it somehow.

Suppose we are all over burdoned by the card sending.

ceeveebee · 28/08/2012 00:01

Lifescomplicated I totally agree with you - we get a card from PIL every year which I just find odd.
I think 1st anniversaries and then special ones (25th, 50th etc) deserve a card. Also if I happened to see a friend/relative around their anniversary I would mention it. Otherwise,no I wouldn't mark a friends/relative's anniversary

RockinD · 28/11/2012 19:29

We always get a card from DH's Mum, which I actually think is quite nice.

We have friends who got married on exactly the same day as us, causing mutual friends to have to split their day - eight years on they still get a card from us and send us one.

I also send a text message to other friends who gave up their own anniversary celebrations to come to our wedding.

superbagpuss · 24/03/2013 19:34

we got a few for our first anniversary and were told that thats the norm when they have been to your wedding so now each wedding we go to I try and remember their first anniversary and mark it with a card. We send cards to our parents for their anniversarys and they send us one for ours, but not between siblings.

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