Girl who lives beside me on the news after losing her baby...

[mykiddies]

Girl and her husband who live beside me were just on the news about their baby who died during labour. I feel that I would like to send a card or something to let her know how sorry I am. I see this girl only occasionally and would say hi. Does this sound a bit ott.

Not at all , I am sure they would be pleased you were thinking of them .

One of the hardest things is people not saying anything .

I'd definitely say something. That would be very kind and I'm sure she'd appreciate it. I might even knock and say you heard her news, how sorry you are and if she needs anything to just ask. Small kindnesses can make a huge difference, it's lovely of you.

Think I might feel a bit awkward calling. Do you think sending a card with something like `I live up the street and saw your story on the television and wanted to let you know am sorry for the loss of your baby. I live at no....and my name is ....... if there's anything you need don't hesitate to ask.'

I did lose a baby once myself albeit v early when told no heartbeat but in this girl's case she was full term and in labour - how sad....and I was devastated so can imagine how she must feel.

I think writing what you have said would be good. Maybe you could offer something specific like a meal or to do some shopping, so they know you mean what you say that you are willing to help?

I said to dh I think I might send a card and was that silly and he said yes as it happened months ago

sounds like a lovely idea.

mykiddies,
I'm just after seeing your post and wanted to reply to it from the point of view of a grieving mother.
It's been less that a year since I lost my long awaited baby, aged a few weeks.
I received cards months after and for me it meant that my baby was not forgotton.
Life moves on, the sun rises and sets, time has passed and I don't know where it's gone, I'm still back when it happened, its still as fresh and raw to me now as then.
Maybe it's now when life is supposed to be back to what passes for normal that she needs a boost or a we haven't forgotton.

Yes for you it might be awkard to call, you'll not know what to say but personally I prefered people to say anything rather than ignore what happened.
If you meet her on the street how would you feel?
I had people turn away to avoid me as they did not know what to say, I've had people ask what did you have as they had not heard and I've had the most unexpected people send cards or call in and I was glad to see them. People reacted differently.
Me, I wanted my bereavment acknowledged, not ignored.
Hope this helps

I would knock on the door. A card from someone you don't really know might seem a bit strange. She has been courageous enough to discuss this on TV, so she knows people will know about it IYSWIM.