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Original poster

What to get as a wedding present

12 replies

emmam25 · 13/08/2011 17:50

My close childhood friend is getting married next week. The man she is marrying is very wealthy and they don't appear to want for anything material but they have got a gift list for a honeymoon.

My OH has been made unemployed recently and we are expecting our first child in December so things are very tight for us financially. Simply going to the wedding is quite costly for us and I know my friend understands my situation but I still feel wrong not getting them something.

I'm uncomfortable contributing to the gift list as it is simply a donation to their honeymoon and think we'd look really stingy if it was less than £50 or more. Am I being ridiculous?

I was also looking at getting them a Lord and Lady title, online it's £40, still a bit expensive but the sort of thing I think they'd like.

My OH doesn't know my friend at all so he is no help deciding what to do!

OP posts:
suzikettles · 13/08/2011 17:59

You know your friend best, but £40 on a website title seems like an expensive joke to me (as it's of no actual use), whereas £40 towards their honeymoon could be a lovely bottle of wine with a meal, cocktails on the beach, etc.

However, a few people didn't get us a wedding present because they couldn't afford it (or for whatever reason - it was none of my business) and I didn't blink an eye. Their company was more than enough, and I mean that absolutely genuinely.

FakePlasticTrees · 13/08/2011 18:02

If they have everything they 'need' could you arrange for a hamper to be delivered on the day they get back from honeymoon? I think you can get a hamper from John Lewis or Fortnam & Masons for around the £50 mark, that would probably come across as more thoughtful than just donating cash to the honeymoon.

cookielove · 13/08/2011 18:02

Yes i agree with suzikettles Smile

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EssentialFattyAcid · 13/08/2011 18:13

You could buy them a designer rose bush for the front door or for the garden

Takitezee · 24/08/2011 07:42

I wouldn't buy the title, it seems a waste of money.

The rose bush sounds a nice idea, we have been given them over the years for special occasions/birthdays and it makes me think of the person who gave it when it blooms. You'd have to give it afterwards though, can you imagine lugging it to and from the wedding!

Cereal · 27/08/2011 22:22

The title wouldn't be something I'd like personally - but if you think this couple would like it then why not?

emsyj · 27/08/2011 22:28

Just put what you can afford towards the honeymoon if you want to buy a gift. When we got married, the average spend per couple on a gift was about £30. A number of our guests didn't buy us anything. We didn't care. I would have been gutted if a friend of mine had been in your position and had felt obliged to buy me a gift.

In fact I still look back now and feel very guilty and sad that a friend of mine who is a pensioner gave us a cheque for £100. I know she doesn't have a lot of money and that is a large sum for her. But she is of a generation that thinks £100 is normal for a wedding present - same generation as my mum. It really isn't these days IMO. £30 is more than adequate!

northerngirl41 · 03/09/2011 10:23

I think the reason you feel odd about giving a donation to the honeymoon fund is that it's an actual £ amount - which puts a value on your friendship which doesn't truly reflect its nature, because you'd give more if you could!

I'd go for a gift which you think they'd enjoy - and even if the £value is less than what you'd want to spend, it's not a definitive amount and shows that you put a little more thought into it than simply making a donation. I'd usually try and include a personal element - so maybe some kind of homemade or personal touch, but that's just me!

googietheegg · 16/11/2011 03:33

I'm a big fan of giving a bottle of champagne as a wedding gift - get a gold pen and write their names and the wedding date on to make it special and add ribbon/rafia/put it in a nice bag. Loads of supermarkets have decent champagnes on half price at the mo too. Nobody minds being given a bottle of champagne.

sashh · 18/12/2011 12:24

A card saying "for your first wedding aniversary I will cook you dinner", or something wlse you are good at.

I didn't do the cad, but did get the keys to my friend's house so when she and hubby came home on their first anniverary dinner was waiting.

I second the champagne idea - Lidle have one for about £12 at the moment.

meditrina · 18/12/2011 12:37

If she's a close friend, she'll have a reasonable idea of your circumstance, and if she's nice she won't be expecting anyone to take her list as anything other than indicative.

Get her something she'll like.

You must know her well, and have some idea anyhow. A good quality bottle of booze (not necessarily champagne) is surely always welcome, especially if you can customise it. Or make it? Chilli sherry? Sloe gin? Flavoured vodka? With a home-made commemorative label?

Toddlerone · 11/01/2012 17:13

I really wouldn't do the title thing. That amount of money, which is perfectly reasonable, would be better spent on a nice bottle of whatever they drink.

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