The ER -- The Track Clinic at the University of Milton North

[SupermassiveLBD]

While everyone else is getting their thinking caps on

Pimp my ride

Which is the ride?

Once again, the tone of the conversation plummets

Oh ladies, another in my occasional series of interesting spam mails.
I just got one telling me I have won a million pounds. Yeah right. And the sender is Microsot (sic) Online Promotion.

::realises it's been months since anyone offered her some dodgy fake viagra or a million Euros on submission of all her bank details::

I am always getting offers of photos of ''sexy older singles'' these days. Should I feel flattered or insulted?

Among the offers of enhancing ahem, bits I never possessed in the first place. First hand, that is.

Oh yeah. I'd forgotten that for a while I was also being offered young and lovely east European ladies interested in marriage.

On that thought, I'm retiring to bed with the newspapers. Good night!

Morning all. Up early watching RH on Watch. Think it's the last one today and everyone dies.

::Hands Small a pile of freshly-laundered lace-trimmed lavender-scented hankies::

::notices the time of Small's post and gives her a strong coffee too::

Ah, but it's a beautiful death.

Morning, all. LOL at Massive's "which is the ride?" followed by Mr Thornton's facepalm last night :)

Don't forget to put this floppy shirt in a separate wash, Smallio!

Maybe you ought to give Gizzy a dunk, along with it

::Coming to you from a tent on the south bank::

What gives, ladies?

How rus in urbe, Maud! Lots of RL for me today, so not much fun.

Sorry to hear that, Massive. Here's a little gift to cheer you up. Handle with care.

Ah me, I wish I could hop on the back, and be carried away from all this...

Hi ho Richie! Away!

Come with me, Massive. Let me take you away from all this.

But would I fare much better with him, I wonder? He is not the most reliable of blokes, with that temper of his.

Do you mean to say you wouldn't actually go, if asked?

::Smacks forehead with hand::

Oh yes, of course I would. I might live to regret it, but what the heck!

And as he is only a figment of our fevered imaginations, I reckon I am safe enough saying that!

A figment of our fevered imaginations? Whatever do you mean?

::Settles down to a romantic candlelit dinner with her favourite gentleman::

Massive I hate to break this to you - please sit down and have this hot toddy -

I don't think Gizzy does romantic candle-light dinners, or romantic anything much, come to think of it, but he cuts a fine figure on a horse. Though of course he is not one.

What a lovely thought, Maud.

Well I have finally made it into a long-awaited hot bath with wine & Sunday supplements, following afternoon at the olds with a whingey and under the weather DD, and a morning of possibly the longest church service ever. I think my wedding ceremony was over quicker!

That's what everyone thinks, Small. But what did medieval medicine know? I got Dr Who to rescue him in the Tardis and put him back together again, and now he's as good as new, smirk and all.