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Original poster

DS is invited to a party but he does not want to go.

94 replies

Numberfour · 05/05/2011 07:21

DS is 6 and has been invited to a party that he does not want to go to. The dilemma is that I don't think that little boy that has invited him has many friends at all. His mum said that she cannot get out of him who his friends are (her DS is ASD) and because his mum and I chat sometimes, I think that this is why she has invited my DS.

My DS does not play with him at school - there are 90 children in his year so it is not as if he is going out of his way to be mean. They are just not friends.

DS is adamant that he does not want to go. Added to this, is the fact that I childmind and will have another girl from the same year with me. When I told the mother of the birthday boy this, she said that the invitation would be extended to the little girl, too.

What should I do? I don't want to force DS to go! But I feel AWFUL telling the mum that DS does not want to go... help?

OP posts:

ExitPursuedByALamb · 05/05/2011 20:03

Well done to your DS. Spread a little happiness tra la la.

Hope the party is fun

queribus · 05/05/2011 20:43

This had made me cry. Your son is a credit to you - well done both of you! I really hope you enjoy the party.

hormonesnomore · 05/05/2011 21:03

You do have a lovely boy, Numberfour - very kind and thoughtful. Like his mum

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icantbelieveimnotbitter · 05/05/2011 23:12

Just checked in to this thread after work... Well done you and your son Numberfour, he knew straight away what was the kind thing to do, how lovely of him. I hope he has a good time.

Original poster

Numberfour · 06/05/2011 05:30

Thanks, everyone! I am off to the dreaded toy shop for that big present.... I hope he has a good time, too. I will let you all know later how it pans out.

OP posts:

screamingskull · 06/05/2011 09:49

I'm so glad i checked this today and actually had a tear in my eye.......what a lovely little boy you have Numberfour, is it not a fantastic feeling that your son is such a caring person and that is all due respect to you. Wonderful.

Hope everything goes to plan so as the boy and your son have a great time x

Original poster

Numberfour · 06/05/2011 18:15

The party was a great success! There were 4 children from school and a few cousins, lots of outside play, a few games, party food galore, lots of shrieking and laughing and lots of presents for the birthday boy.

I am glad we went!

OP posts:

thisisyesterday · 06/05/2011 18:22

aww i'm so glad to hear that numberfour :-D

ExitPursuedByALamb · 06/05/2011 18:57

Glad you all enjoyed the party. Children shrieking with laughter - has to be one of the best sounds in the world.

FreudianSlipOnACrown · 06/05/2011 19:01

Only just seen this thread, so glad it all worked out! And how lovely that your DS was there because he chose to, not because you forced him. :)

SauvignonBlanche · 06/05/2011 19:02

Fantastic!

ScarlettWalking · 07/05/2011 09:45

oh great! thanks for updating.

Jix · 07/05/2011 11:03

I'm very proud of that little boy's mum too... she was very brave to be so honest and open with you, and really did her best to make her son's birthday party a successs. It can't be easy for her and I hope she somehow knows that there are other people out here rooting for her and cheering her on. It's not easy being a mum sometimes.

TheVeryAngryMumapillar · 07/05/2011 11:07

My DD had this problem....after speaking to some of the Mums on here...those who have kids with Aspergers...I made my DD go.

She was fine....not scarred. It's about learning to give a little...to be kind and to help those kids who need extra.

It's good for them. Make him go.

My DD is now good mates with the little girl, they have a very special relatioship which my DD has got a lot out of. She has learned all about differing needs and it is excellent preperation for life in general.

TheVeryAngryMumapillar · 07/05/2011 11:09

oops! Just saw your update! I felt happy after I encouraged my DD to go...and it was thanks to Mumsnet that I kept an open mind and taught my dd the same skill.

As Mums we all have the fear of exclusion and bullying..this is FAR worse for those parents whose DC have additional needs.....so I do believe it is all of our responsibilities to help kids learn inclusion.

chickchickchicken · 07/05/2011 11:32

TheVeryAngryMumapillar - i want to hug you

"so I do believe it is all of our responsibilities to help kids learn inclusion."

please everyone think about this when raising your children. it will make for a better world for everyone.

TheVeryAngryMumapillar · 07/05/2011 14:27

We've gained a lot from DDs friendships chicken....all of them. If there were a zero tolerance attitude from ALL parents re bullying and exclusion then incidents would be rare.

Original poster

Numberfour · 07/05/2011 14:31

My latest assignment for my uni course is on inclusion (hello, classmates if you're reading this!)!!

I have tried to instil in DS that while you might not like everyone, you still have to be kind to them.

I did not add in yesterday's report back that the mum had her mother on skype (mother is abroad) and she was introduced to everyone that was there! .

OP posts:

MrsKitty · 07/05/2011 14:52

What a lovely boy you have, numberfour.

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