DH offered job in Dubai. Need unbiased arguments for and against going.

[Betti]

My DH has been offered a job based in Dubai but as it's sales he will spend 3 weeks each month travelling. The salary is huge (3 times what it is now) so this is a life changing opportunity.

My dilemma is this. Do we all uproot (3 children aged 8,5 & 2) and spend 3 years in Dubai and see daddy for 1 week every month or do we stay here in our normal routine with our friends and see him for probably 4 days a month and spend school hols in Dubai with him.

The package offers us a beach front appartment with housekeeper, gardener etc. Private school fees for children paid for.

What are the schools like in Dubai and will it be a problem for them when they come back and go back to state schooling?

Is it easier for us to stay in UK but not see daddy very often. How will that affect them? Also how can i be sure our relationship is strong enough to survive not seeing one another?

My heart says go....have a ball for 3 years....it's a once in a lifetime opportunity.....we can pay off our mortgage and be debt free but if DH isn't around very much we'll be very much on our own. My head says stay here.....the children are hapoy and doing well at school....you've got friends and family around, but we'll be pretty much living as a single parent family.

Is money really that important?

I'd really appreciate your opinions as my friends and family obviously want us to stay.

Thank you so much xx

Hi, I'd post this in another topic. The What Would You Do topic doesn't get that much 'traffic' I don't think.

Apart from that, I can't help you I'm afraid.

Good luck with your decision.

If he takes the job you are better off living on your own herewith the support. Will he be able to take time off in school hols to be with you out there? I personally wouldn't want my dh to work away but some families do & cope. I can see the advantages financially though :)

I would go with him - ok so you might spend a little while being lonely but you will make friends im sure. I dont know anything about dubai really but if you go and you hate it you can come back with the dc and back to normal ...if you dont go and your marriage suffers or the dc miss daddy so so much your kind of stuck with your decision as im guessing once you say no they wont offer it again?

Hope this helps a little :D

fuck me - id be off like a shot

Thanks for taking the time to reply....i'm really no nearer an answer but i'm geting a lot of information on here. You guys are great.

Was in a similar position recently, however hubby applied for a job in Dubai but didn't get it. We would have been off like a shot!!

Post on the living overseas board, there are a few people in Dubai who hang around there. Alternatively for a wider Dubai view try the forums on www.expatwoman.com - though there is a lot of moaning on there, I think that is partly the nature of forums.

I live in Dubai, on my own with two kids; one at school one at nursery. There are a lot of good schools at primary age; there are good schools but they are harder to get into at secondary (and plenty of average sort of schools) - British curriculum (ie English - not aware of any schools following the Scottish system :) ), IB, American, etc.

I like it here; yes there are things I miss but there are plenty of things I don't. You hear a lot about the glitz and the plastic... well they are there, but I don't see a lot of them; between the office and hanging round in the park or on the beach with the kids, I don't have time to go to those places. If you want the coffee morning lifestyle it is there, but you don't have to do it..... lots of people here, lots of options :)

If I was in your shoes I would go. Children are very adaptable and if you dont' try you will never know. I think the beachfront apartment, housekeeper, gardener and private school fees sound very appealing! The kids will make friends and so will you. Good luck.

My Auntie moved out to Abu Dhabi about 7 years ago and has never looked back - We have visited a few times and I'm always taken aback by their customs and laws etc - She has 2 girls who were 13 and 15 when they moved over and they also seem to be doing really well and have settled down a lot since moving (They were previously going off the rails here) BUT there are a lot of things you have to take into consideration that are just hitting my auntie now - firstly if you have daughters, be prepared for them to be treated as second class citizens, to be able to do pretty much anything they need a mans permission. When they walk down the street men come out of buildings and shops to watch them and taxis curbcrawl behind them.

Also the driving is pretty shocking - where they live the locals dont use car seats as they put all of their faith in their god when it comes to driving - my youngest cousin has just passes and has already been in about 3 accidents which has resulted in a new car and a few trips to the hospital

I know my auntie is having a few problems with her eldest daughter and her bf and the moment, issues about age and religion keep cropping up etc. My Auntie is also having to battle to keep her in the country as she recently left her degree, however I would argue that my auntie has said on numerous occasions that even if my cousin had to leave then she wouldnt.

You have to take the highs with the lows, they all say they would not want to move back and have a big network of friends over there but are still getting used to the way of life - after having been there a few times for 2/3 weeks at a time I can honestly say I wouldnt want to move there but I consider myself to have bra burning feminist equal rights for all and quite simply my auntie would rather have a nice tan and a cool cocktail!

Good luck with your decision!