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Original poster

wedding in 3 months

6 replies

sammie15 · 03/02/2011 22:52

Not sure if I have posted in the right place. Dh's brother is getting married in 3 months, they announced it about 16 months ago and dh told me shortly after that apparently dd was going to be a bridesmaid, she's 4 and ds a page boy, he's 2.

Nothing has been said to me at all by BIL and his girlfriend. It actually doesn't bother me if they are or not but if they are when should they let me know. We haven't said anything to dc's btw.

I thought it was down to the bride and groom together to ask the parents of the children who they wish to have as bridesmaids or page boys or have I got it wrong.

OP posts:

leftandaright · 03/02/2011 22:57

I'm unaware if there is a protocol regarding this but is there anything preventing your simply discussing the matter with the happy couple? I am presuming you can just talk about it without getting worked up if they say yay or nay. With 3 months to go - if I was a mother of bridesmaids/page boys, I would need to be aware so I could get started on a fandabydozy diet to look super glam whilst attending to my perfectly behaved cherubs in the church (mmm yeah right!)

Original poster

sammie15 · 03/02/2011 23:07

That probably would be a good idea leftandright but I don't want to look stupid if they never had any intention of them being bridesmaid and page boy. It was only BIL who mentioned it to dh (maybe he assumed they would be.) Also if they are who should pay for the outfits.

OP posts:

leftandaright · 04/02/2011 09:29

I still think it is a perfectly reasonable question to ask your BIL/SIL-to-be. If there are to be any bm/pb's then people would expect them to come from close family.
How about you ask them in a relaxed way - put it to them so that you are not bothered one way or the other so you don't pressure them into forcing or declining.
I am going through this exact same scanario with my brother and his wife to be! I just said whatever you want, I am cool with it. Just let me know please so I know whether to buy them their own outfits or to ptu them in a special pageboy/bm's outfit.
Just ask them in a light hearted way with a smile on your face :-)

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ruddynorah · 04/02/2011 09:32

Well where did your dh get the idea from? Did the couple ask him? Or has he assumed?

Original poster

sammie15 · 04/02/2011 11:55

BIL mentioned it to dh over a year ago when he was asked to be best man. Nothing has been said since and they didn't ask him as a couple.

When I said "maybe he assumed" I was talking about the BIL probably assumed. Isn't it up to the bride to decide on bm's/pageboys? Neither dh or I mind if they are or not.

I shall ask them when I get chance.

OP posts:

SnapFrakkleAndPop · 04/02/2011 12:12

Maybe phrase it neutrally as 'what would you like the DCs to wear?'. Presumably you'll be in family photos abd bride may have ideas about colour schemes etc so you're not crazy to ask, to which he'll hopefully respond with details of what small child attendants will be wearing!

Or maybe ask his fiancée as my DH was pretty clueless about the whole thing.

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