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Original poster

Leaving kids in a hotel room, while we go to dinner.

109 replies

Confuzzeled · 02/01/2011 14:13

We are going away for a night this weekend, it's a small hotel with 10 rooms. The dining room is on the ground floor and our room will be above it. The hotel owner tells us that the family room is close enough for monitors to work should we wish to use one.

Now I just don't know how I feel about leaving my 3.9 yo and a 16 mo in a hotel room while we jolly off downstairs for dinner, it doesn't seem right. DH likes the idea but I don't know if I'm being a paranoid mummy or not.

My parents think it's fine and told me they used to leave us in a room with the phone off the hook and every 15 mins they'd go and listen at the reception phone.

Has anyone else done this?

OP posts:

missmehalia · 02/01/2011 17:57

Don't do anything you don't want to. However, although I agree with your theory, we did successfully have a meal out a few months ago in a hotel with the baby asleep in our room at the top of the stairs. We asked for the closest room to the dining room. It was completely fine.

missmehalia · 02/01/2011 17:57

And we were using a monitor the whole time.

Angeliz · 02/01/2011 17:57

I wouldn't do this.
Firstly i really wouldn't relax and enjoy it anyway and secondly for all the many reasons people have stated!

We went to Disney a few years ago and were all in one room, we still watched t'v and had a drink when they were asleep and snugly watched by us.
I wouldn't dream of leaving them in a hotel room on their own.

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vintageteacups · 02/01/2011 17:58

I dont think abduction is the greatest risk - I think fire or the children being upset on waking up alone would be greater.

ImeldaSnowboots · 02/01/2011 18:02

I've done it in small hotel too, wouldn't in large hotel, when friends have said they did, I was . Think if monitor is working and you are not far away should be ok, good idea for video monitor too. I'd lock the door, think if DC's quite young they'd need assistance in fire situation anyway.

Perhaps beforehand have a few situations with older DC so that it will be in her mind that 'Mummy & Daddy are at loo/next door, will be back in a minute' or even start using monitor if you don't already & teach that its a bit like a 'walkie-talkie', to let them know you can hear them.

MrsSchadenfreude · 02/01/2011 18:02

I don't think fire marshals would leave two small children to burn to death.

Upset on waking - hardly life threatening, is it? And you could be upstairs in seconds if there is only one flight of stairs between you.

ScarlettWalking · 02/01/2011 18:08

I wouldn't be able to have a relaxing evening at all if I did it personally. I would worry about them waking/ choking / wandering off, even 3 mins awake and scared before you ran up to them is a lifetime for a child. No way.

We are able to eat and drink and watch TV with DD asleep in our room and have a nice evening...

iloverhubarbcrumble · 02/01/2011 18:20

Well I tend to agree with those who say it depends how you feel about it, and checking that monitor etc all works once you get there, and the feel of the hotel.

We've done it - this is not a recommendation by the way, more of a daft story. Left a 5yr old on her own in large hotel, door locked, long way from us downstairs at a wedding party, intending frequent checks. Showed her how to get out the room - then what! , showed her how to get hold of reception on the internal phone and to ask for us by name if she felt abit worried....

Within minutes we had a member of staff telling us that our daughter was on the line for us. She didn't like it on her own. DH went up for the next hour, and I went to bed when he came down. I was relieved as it had not felt comfortable. Definitely sounds mad in retrospect.

I think your scenario though definitely sounds doable.

MrsSchadenfreude · 02/01/2011 19:43

This is how helicopter parenting starts. You really have to weigh up the risk. Risk of abduction when you are in the dining room? Less than zero. Risk of fire, in the two hours that you are having dinner? Ditto. Child wakes up - you can be upstairs in seconds, not three minutes. Same as at home.

Where does it stop? Someone I know took her 15 year old to a pizza restaurant for a date with his girlfriend and sat at the next table for the entire date as she "didn't want him to be out on his own." Same woman drives her son to school because she worries about him getting the school bus...this is how it started out. She couldn't leave him when he was little and she can't leave him now. And he's not a precious only - she has three children!

bibbitybobbitysantahat · 02/01/2011 19:50

I remember my parents and another couple they were holidaying with leaving me, my brother and their two children in one of our hotel rooms while they went downstairs and had a grownups evening. One of us children felt ill in the evening (can't remember who) and we were all freaked out. We didn't know how to make our parents come back! It was horrible and frightening.

missmehalia · 02/01/2011 19:50

Love what you've said, MrsS. Seconded! The voice of reason. Distance-wise, you would be physically almost no farther away from them than if you were actually at home and they were in bed upstairs.

missmehalia · 02/01/2011 19:54

Yes, bibbity, but the point is if one of them cries or is distressed in ANY way, you'd have a monitor. Just the same as if you were in the next room. The OP's situation is different. They have no idea you're not in a house. Yes, the environment is different, but they'll have their own things with them and will spend time in their room with parents beforehand. And will be asleep when their parents leave the room. Just like at home!

bibbitybobbitysantahat · 02/01/2011 19:55

Ha ha!!!! I am the polar opposite of helicopter parent, actually. My primary school age children often walk themselves to school, involving crossing two roads - and in London too!!!!! .

but the op's children are both under 4.

OP - if your baby monitor really works well in the dining room and you can get back to the room within a minute or two then mebbe its ok. But, otherwise, can't you just accommodate them while your youngest is still a baby and save the grown-up dinners for a few years time?

CrispyTheChristmasCracker · 02/01/2011 20:07

We did it when DD1 was about 9 months IIRC. All fine with monitor working etc. However, now she is 4 i am not sure i would. Contained in a cot seemed fine, but a 4YO able to get up and wander quietly makes me less at ease

I would not be worrying about abduction or fire, more her getting out of the room or being scared i think

vintageteacups · 03/01/2011 11:18

what if the 3.9 yr old woke up (quietly so not heard on monitor), went into bathroom, turned on bath (hot taps) with plug in and then got in?

I know it's unlikely, but very possible.

Not leaving them, doesn't make anyone a helicpter parent; just a sensible one.
It's not as if they're 8 and 10 - they are almost 4 and 16 months - very different.

Mapley · 03/01/2011 12:07

Ofcourse you'd hear them getting up and running a bath on a monitor! If you can't get a better monitor! You can hear snuggle, coughs, keys in locks on mine!

usernamechanged345 · 03/01/2011 12:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Rockbird · 03/01/2011 12:21

PMSL @ comparing leaving a 16mo alone in a hotel room and following a 15yo on a date. They're really similar situations obviously...

LunarRose · 03/01/2011 13:56

My monitors included heartbeat monitors, I'd have know if my two would have wiggled to the edge of the bed

In hind sight that was probably slightly on the paranoid side

Original poster

Confuzzeled · 03/01/2011 14:32

Do you know my biggest concern is the stairs. Dd is rubbish at stairs, I have to hold on to her all the time. We have gates at home that are always shut as she's such a calamity.

Ds would be in a travel cot and dd in a big bed.

I think if we knew the hotel and felt comfortable there then maybe (depending on set up). But since it's our first visit we've decided to go have an early dinner with the kids somewhere else.

OP posts:

MrsSchadenfreude · 03/01/2011 15:04

Well, Rockbird - this was how it all started...not leaving the children alone under any circs. And now they are 15, 13 and 12, she still can't. She gets a babysitter when they go out...

PonceyMcPonce · 03/01/2011 15:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

crystalglasses · 03/01/2011 16:03

Confuzzeled - I think you've made the best decision - it will give you peace of mind

JustAnother · 03/01/2011 16:30

when I was 4 yo, (back in the 70s), my mother left me sleep for "a minute" while she went to check something at the neighbours. In that "minute", I managed to wake up and wonder into the streets in my pyjamas to see if mum had gone to the local shop. We lived in a big city, so I had to walk good 5 minutes to get there. Anyway, another neighbour found me and took me home to find my mother in a panic.

Anyway, for this reason, I would never leave DS alone in a room. It is amazing how much can happen in so little time.

JustAnother · 03/01/2011 16:31

I meant to say "alone in a room in a hotel, of course"

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