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Original poster

Leaving kids in a hotel room, while we go to dinner.

109 replies

Confuzzeled · 02/01/2011 14:13

We are going away for a night this weekend, it's a small hotel with 10 rooms. The dining room is on the ground floor and our room will be above it. The hotel owner tells us that the family room is close enough for monitors to work should we wish to use one.

Now I just don't know how I feel about leaving my 3.9 yo and a 16 mo in a hotel room while we jolly off downstairs for dinner, it doesn't seem right. DH likes the idea but I don't know if I'm being a paranoid mummy or not.

My parents think it's fine and told me they used to leave us in a room with the phone off the hook and every 15 mins they'd go and listen at the reception phone.

Has anyone else done this?

OP posts:
crystalglasses · 02/01/2011 14:59

Could you find out from the hotel if there is a local babysitting service you could use?

upahill · 02/01/2011 14:59

Confuzzled Have you made a decision?

TheMonster · 02/01/2011 14:59

I wouldn't do it. I would worry far too much.

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GoodnightNobody · 02/01/2011 15:01

Does the hotel offer a babysitting service?

GoodnightNobody · 02/01/2011 15:02

sorry x posts with crystalglasses

feralgirl · 02/01/2011 15:02

Agree with Mapley and a few others. I don't think this is McCann territory at all. I'd do it in a weeny hotel after carefully checking the monitor and how long it'd take me to get back to the locked room.

DS sleeps reasonably well almost anywhere and is a bugger when kept up after his bedtime. I wouldn't do it with the sort of child that's likely to get up and wander about though as I'd worry that the room wasn't as safe as at home.

crystalglasses · 02/01/2011 15:03

I agree that we have become an overcautious and risk averse society and the chances of anything happening are miniscule, so the OP has to go with her gut feelings about this. Although I never left my dc in these circumstances I know many other parents who have done so and no harm came to their dc.

Haribojoe · 02/01/2011 15:06

Personally I wouldn''t do it and tbh if I did I wouldn't be able to enjoy dinner as would be anxious the whole time.

Amapoleon · 02/01/2011 15:09

Would you leave your passport or your purse in your hotel room? I know I wouldn't, so if that's the case I definitely wouldn't leave my kids. Can't you take them to dinner with you?

crystalglasses · 02/01/2011 15:22

Good point, Amapoleon.

DanceInTheDark · 02/01/2011 15:25

when are the children having their evening meal then if they don't start serving until 7?

Original poster
Confuzzeled · 02/01/2011 15:26

There's no babysitting service

I've told dh I don't want to leave them but he thinks we should wait and see what the hotel is like.

OP posts:
Original poster
Confuzzeled · 02/01/2011 15:34

Kids like an early dinner at about 5, if we leave them much later, they're too tired to eat. By 7 they're usually conked out and ds usually wakes around midnight for a fart/boo hoo then goes back to sleep. Dd often wakes at 2am for a wee and they usually stick to this pattern when we go away.

I'm probably not the only one but I leave my purse and passport in hotel rooms quite often, especially at weddings. I'm not comparing my kids to a passport, my passport doesn't have legs or make as much mess :)

OP posts:
Mapley · 02/01/2011 15:34

It's personal choice obviously, and if you're the kind of person who worries excessively, then obviously you shouldn't and wouldn't want to do this. Fair enough, don't do it, but don't frighten and judge others because of your own fears

But using a very sad but extremely rare and unlikely anecdote about madeline mccann is bizarre! Do you not ever take your kids in your car because some kids die in car crashes? Do you never send your kids to school because of dunblane? Do you never step out of your house in the morning because your afraid of life, and the inherent risks within it?

In a small appropriate hotel, when you carefully checked out the safety issues and are satisfied that your monitors are working, then why is it any less safe than putting your child to bed at home and going downstairs to eat dinner? There could be a fire at home, their could be an intruder at home and you'd probably be less likely to notice as you'd not be as cautious. Don't most injuries, accidents and murders happen within a domestic setting?

When I dud it the only thing I was worried about was the tiny chance that someone could have a copy of the hotel room key. So that's why I put that monitor next to the door so it'd be bashing if anyone opened the door. In the actual event, each time me or dp went up to check the floor boards above the dining room would creak, I'd hear the key in the lock of the monitor and then the bash would half deafen the rest of the dining room, who were affectionally laughing at us and our paranoia! And then my iPhone would be rung by dp's iPhone too. I was totally satisfied that noone could get in that without us knowing, and knew the fire system
and alarms and was happy too. I'd do it again if a hotel felt appropriate definately.

upahill · 02/01/2011 16:58

My concern would be like I said earlier is the kids waking up in an unfamiliar surrounding and being a bit frightened. Even if they are usually good sleepers sleeping pattens change when they are away.

I think the Maddeline McCann incident has made people more cautious.

AvengingGerbil · 02/01/2011 17:03

So if you don't leave them, two questions.

  1. When are you going to eat?
  1. What are you going to do once they are in bed? Sit in the room in the dark?
northerngirl41 · 02/01/2011 17:05

I'd probably not do it - but because I'd want to go just with my partner and have a child free weekend!

My mum used to do this in hotels and would often find us locked out of the room, wandering the corridors or on one occasion having a cup of tea with the night porter! Baddies really don't exist in the numbers the media would have us believe - most people are decent human beings. We used to stay in quite large nice hotels - I doubt we would have been left if the hotel had loads of drunken stag parties, but they weren't that sort of place.

We have a large house and frankly the whole baby monitor thing completely passes me by - if the child needs that much attention then it should be with you, not upstairs at the other end of the house. If you think the child is basically okay on their own, then why panic every time they turn over in their cot? Most useless inventions ever IMO.

goingforit · 02/01/2011 17:08

Please don't. A neighbour was actually childminding a 16month old in my street, momentarily was distracted and toddler strangled on wires behind television. It seems so unbelievable.

Accidents can happen so quickly. It really isn't worth it with children that young, and do you really think you would be able to have a nice meal worrying about the children's safety. I really couldn't. Not worth it. Don't.

ZZZenAgain · 02/01/2011 17:11

see if you can arrange a babysitter through the hotel and enjoy your night without the worry

BigTillyMincepie · 02/01/2011 17:12

We used to leave our DC in the room when they were littleBlush, and it was big hotelsBlushBlush, and we didn't take the monitor BlushBlushBlush

We did check on them though.

They were always fine, (although one time DS was dancing around in the corridor outsideShock

When they got older they would eat with us and then on e of us would take them back and lie in the dark till they fell asleep and then creep outBlushBlushBlush

Then the MMcC incident happenedSad

Thankfully they are now both old enough to stay up late without ruining the night.

I would have thought you sould be fine in a small hotel, but definitely wouldn't think you were BU if you didn't want to do that.

Original poster
Confuzzeled · 02/01/2011 17:13

I don't think this is comparable to the MacCanns in any way, very different situation and it hadn't crossed my mind when I posted.

Yes AvengingGerbil, sounds fun don't it?

OP posts:
perfectstorm · 02/01/2011 17:13

If you won't enjoy an expensive meal because you'd be fretting after the kids, there isn't much point, I'd have thought. Leaving aside the whole question of whether or not it's safe.

Having said that if you can hear well with the monitor and the dining room is close to the bedroom (can you ask for a room that is?) I'd do it, yes, in a tiny hotel like that. No way in a large one though. Not because I'd worry about Madeleine type scenarios (that is so, so rare) but because I'd worry they'd wake and be afraid, or get into mischief. Kids that age and I'd worry they could pull furniture down on to them or drown or something, too.

ZZZenAgain · 02/01/2011 17:14

or could you go away, just the two of you for the night and leave the dc with your parents?

secretskillrelationships · 02/01/2011 17:15

TBH it all comes down to how you personally feel about it - if you are uncomfortable, it doesn't matter where your room is or how well your monitor works or what anyone else would do. I would go with your gut instinct.

mumto2andnomore · 02/01/2011 17:16

I wouldnt do it either , simply not worth the risk. You wont enjoy the meal at all if you are worrying and if something did happen you would never forgive yourself.