Visiting friends when harbouring a virus!

[Pendulum]

I have plans to take the DCs to visit an old friend of mine tomorrow. She lives abroad and I haven't seen her for a year. Her mum has offered to make lunch for us all. She goes back home the next morning.

But yesterday I came down with a horrible cold, achey bones, shivering etc. It's definitely not flu but it's not very pleasant either. I'm not in bed but don't feel much like getting up and about. I expect the DC will come down with it in due course.

Personally I don't like it when someone calls me and says 'I know we're supposed to come over, but I wanted to let you know that I/ DH/ DC have a cold/ tummy bug/ TB. Do you still want us to come?' Generally the true answer to that is 'no', but the fact of the question being asked makes me feel obliged to issue a cavalier 'yes, it'll be fine, bring the pukey child along'.

But the other alternative is to cancel at short notice, putting my friend's mum out and meaning we will not see her again for aeons. And maybe she'll think a cold is ridiculous reason for cancelling.

What would you do?

Cancel. I hate nothing more than a guest who brings plague to my door.

If your friend lives abroad, she may not have immunity to it and may come down with it a lot more seriously than you have. And if you don't feel like getting around, she's going to feel even less like getting on an international flight/ferry if she does get it.

Hmm - can you really know it's not flu when you've only just started it? Achy bones and shivering sounds like it could be a bit more than a cold. Also swine flu is very mild in many cases; severe in a few. I think they found last winter (when they were doing so much testing of family members of the early cases) that the swine flu virus can cause really mild illness that's barely more than a cold, as well as causing 'proper flu' where you feel so ill you can't pick up a £20 note. There's loads of that around at the moment. I'd cancel if I were you.

I know what you mean about the dilemma when you ask if it's OK to meet up despite a bug. It's hard to make it clear that a 'no' really is a perfectly acceptable answer, and you find that you never quite trust a 'yes' answer so you end up having to decide for yourself anyway!

Thanks for replies- paperclips I agree, a 'yes' from me in those circumstances is unlikely to be heartfelt. The only time I genuinely feel unruffled about it is when I am informed that a visiting child is a bot snotty. With the DCs mixing with all sorts of germs at school, a small amount of child snot is not likely to interrupt my plans.

My friend has two DC including a 9 month old baby. So my instinct is def to cancel. But I wanted to check that it doesn't look a bit pathetic.

Ha- a bit snotty!

Bot snot would certainly be a cause for alarm....