Don't know if this has been on here before, but I love it:
A little Catholic boy said to his mother 'I really want a red shiny bike' and his Mum said 'Well, if you write a letter to Jesus and tell how good you've been, then maybe he will oblige.'
So the little boy takes a pen and paper and writes in big childlike letters 'Dear Jesus, I have been a really good boy and would like a red shiny bike'. On showing the letter to his mother, she tutted slightly and said to try again.
So he took a clean sheet of paper and wrote in his big childlike letters 'Dear Jesus, I am not always a good little boy but I try my best. Please can I have a red shiny bike?' On seeing the letter his Mum still isn't sure it's good enough.
Quite exasperated by now, the little boy goes into his Mum's bedroom and picks up her statue of the Virgin Mary. He takes it into his bedroom and very carefully wraps it in cotton wool and then paper, wraps it in a sheet and puts it in his bottom drawer.
Picking up his pen and paper, he scrawls in big letters...
IF YOU WANT TO SEE YOUR MOTHER ALIVE AGAIN...