Advice Please for Christmas Family Worries

[SamuelsMummyHavant]

I don't know what to do - We have my parents come to us every Christmas. My Mum is an absolute treat and it is a pleasure having her stay. My Dad is really hard work, he used to be really horrible to me & I am always on tenderhooks when he is around. We never have drink in the house or else he will drink it all. Last year it was extremely stressful as he could not stand the noise our 7 year old son makes and also he finds it stressful being away from his home & always wants to go back! This year we have decided not to have Mum & Dad, but go & see them for a few days prior and stay in a hotel so Dad doesn't get so stressed. It is killing us though the thought of my Mum with Dad on her own on Xmas Day with no tree, tinsel etc. and her not seeing her Grandson opening his pressies - I keep crying becuase I shall miss her so much, but know that if Dad came it would be another Xmas spoilt - Any advice?

Can't you just invite your mum? They are not joined at the hip and it's no fun for anyone that he's so miserable.

maybe they could also stay in a hotel near you? so dad has the choie of being alone or with family?

Them staying in a hotel near you does sound like a good idea. Then your dad could have his own space to go to if and when he wanted.

Why on earth wouldn't your mum have a tree at Christmas if she wants one? That's her choice - she either has it out with your dad or she's decided to give in for an easy life and accept no Christmas tat. It's their relationship, they appear still to be married after some considerable time, so it clearly works on some level. Also, presumably your mum has survived a fair few Christmases without seeing children/grandchildren opening gifts. What happened before you had kids?

If your Dad really is that bah-humbug he probably wouldn't mind having some peace and quiet to do whatever grumpy old men do whilst your mum comes to you.