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Original poster

Wedding gift for terminally ill friend

12 replies

cheekychopsmum · 01/11/2010 12:34

My very good friend has been suffering with breast cancer for 3 years and 3 weeks ago was told it is now in her brain. She got married at the weekend after a week of arranging and I am wanting to get her a wedding present. I am stuck with what to get them. She doesn't want any fuss and the wedding was very small, only immediate family there, but I can't not get them something. I am thinking of a tree, something that either flowers or is a beautiful colour in autumn. What do you think and any suggestions?

OP posts:
LoopyLoupGarou · 01/11/2010 12:36

I think that's a lovely idea, but what about something she can do? A hot air balloon ride perhaps? Family portrait? Print of the place they got married?
What's your budget?

aleene · 01/11/2010 12:39

A tree is a lovely idea. silver photoframe? Does she have DC? Get vouchers for a photo company to get photobooks made (Photobox, I'm thinking of)

Big hug for you because this must be a hard time for you as well.

Original poster
cheekychopsmum · 01/11/2010 12:45

She's not really up for going anywhere and her brother in law has done the photobook thing. They got married at the town hall and probably wasn't her first choice of venue but all that could be arranged in a week. I'd thought of a silver frame, but I'm not sure...

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tb · 01/11/2010 15:29

For a tree, how about a sugar maple. They go the most gorgeous crimsony red, especially if the light is shinging throuh them.

Otoh, why not ask her dh?

exexpat · 01/11/2010 15:46

Wouldn't a maple already be losing its leaves if you bought it now? I don't want to be morbid, but if there's a chance she won't be around to see the new leaves come out in spring, it might be rather too close to home to see all the leaves falling off leaving a bare tree... I'd go for something more evergreen or indoors/floral.

tb · 01/11/2010 18:39

Is there anyone near you that does massages at home? A local hospice would know of anyone suitable. Apparently, done by the right person, it can be very soothing.

By the way I thought that too, about a tree, and whether she would be there to see it next year. However, it is the time of year to plant hedge plants, and something like photinia Red Robin is quite good to look at. Or how about a bird table that she can see from the window?

Original poster
cheekychopsmum · 02/11/2010 11:27

Ummm I'd not thought about the fact the leaves may have already fallen and she might not see them. Oh dear

OP posts:
echt · 13/11/2010 06:30

Keep the plant/tree idea going. Pretty sure she'd appreciate the idea of something going on after she's gone.

You're a good friend, and sorry about your dilemma.

SlightlyJaded · 19/11/2010 11:49

The tree is a lovely idea. I am sure they can advise you on the best thing for this time of year given the fact that time is of the essence.

Is your friend in bed a lot? What about a beautiful quilt or something that will make her bed feel luxurious and her DH can use in the future?

Or burn a CD of her favourite music or songs that are special to you/her/her partner.

It's a really tricky one but you seem lovely so it will be from the heart and that is what counts.

mercibien · 21/11/2010 21:25

My cousin married her DH just 6 weeks before he died, and they were really pleased to recieve flowers and losts of M&S vouchers which they spent on really nice ready meals and treats.
I know it sounds a bit odd but it meant that they could enjoy being together without thinking about cooking and shopping.

malek2010 · 25/11/2010 18:51

I can see ur dilemma and I have had the same dilemma my dad's partners daughter is terminally ill with only weeks to live, she is getting married tomorrow and I was up the walls trying to figure out something, it may not be a great idea but I thought of an Angel embraced in wings for the mantle when she is gone the kids are young they are only 5 & 9 which will not understand until she is gone that she is in Heaven and I thought the Angel wraped in wings would give them a peaceful feeling and its on the mantle so its in an everyday room that the kids and husband will be, don;t know whether u think its a good idea but I spoke to someone from the local hospice and they thought it a great idea from the norm it will be in the room they shared with their mom watching TV and doing their homework or just being with her..

toomanychristmaslights · 25/11/2010 18:55

how about a star named for both of them? Or a charity virtual gift 9Oxfam do the such as a well, or a goat etc)

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