I home educate - AMA

[MyFavouriteMugHasCatsOn]

I home educate DD1 who would be in y1 if she was in school. She's never been to school but attended preschool part time and hated it. I also have DD2 age 2 at home with me full time. I am a SAHM and have been since DD1 was born, while DH works full time to support us.

AMA!

I'm not an expert, but I'm also pretty knowledgeable about HE as a whole so if you have any questions about home ed more generally, please go wild!

(I'm starting this thread after having seen quite a few threads lately suggesting HE is tantamount to neglect so I'm braced for judgement! I'm hoping some people might read this and see it's valid and the right choice for some families. It's right for my family but that doesn't mean I think you're wrong if you have chosen to send your children to school.)

I think that could be it. There is a lot of anti SAHM here too. I think a lot of it stems from envy. I would absolutely love to home educate but it's not the right thing for my family right now. My favourite part of parenting is educating them, seeing them light up when they get interested in a topic and the pride I feel when I see how much they progress.

I think home ed is a very natural progression for an involved toddler mum, particularly a SAHM, and watching your child learn something new with you is a magical experience so I'm not surprised you've felt the pull. It's a rubbish fact that anything seen as traditionally female is totally undervalued.

I think it's absolutely unnecessary to have an affinity to a certain home ed philosophy tbh. I've taken a lot from Charlotte Mason though and a bit of Montessori and a bit of the child-led movement. Charlotte Mason has a quote I particularly like that says something like 'the point of education is to anchor the child to the world at many points' (paraphrased!) which fits well with my general perspective on home ed.

I don't think it is right to do this to your children unless school turns out to be a harmful environment for them.

As above, Charlotte Mason is a fairly big influence. There are a lot of inspiring home educators on Instagram etc but I actually found them a bit threatening too and I've totally come off Instagram now for that very reason!

Top tips for aspiring home edders:

• join your local home ed group on Facebook so you can see what's out there near you in terms of groups, meet ups, children similar ages, parents you might have stuff in common with
• Read a book called something like Reality Vs Expectations - a home educator's guide (sorry, couldn't make the link work!) which is very no-nonsense and comprehensive
• If your kids are already at school, get their opinion without making any promises
• If they're preschool age, try and sort of roleplay preschool a bit and see how it feels - do you enjoy doing little activities with them?
• Ask yourself how you'd make it work financially and also how you'd cope with lots of judgement from people who are surprised at people choosing an alternative path!

All the best!

It always surprises me how strongly anti-SAHM some people are!

Why?

This has been a lovely thread to read and a bit of a trip down memory lane.

I am nearly at the opposite end of your experience, with DSs 16 and 14. We are currently knee-deep in the world of IGCSEs, with 4 completed and another 12 underway this year alongside college applications, teen meets, sports clubs, hobby groups, volunteer commitments and part time jobs (theirs and mine) to juggle.

They have always been home educated and I have really enjoyed the opportunity this evening to spend some time remembering the slower, simpler Little Years filled with daily nature walks, jacket potatoes in pockets and walnut sailing boats. Now I shall return to focusing on Stalin, writer's effect, momentum, quaternary sector activities and what we can eat for lunch other than sandwiches or omlettes!

It is lovely to hear from someone at the other end of the journey (and it sounds like it's been a very happy one!)! I feel a bit daunted at the idea of the GCSE years but I'm guessing the KS3 years will help me prepare! Any words of wisdom looking back over your journey?

For lunches, may I suggest cheese on toast, quiches made with wraps rather than pastry, or pasta pesto 🤣❤️

My husband also works from home, so I have just realised that I have either planned, shopped for and prepared or cooked TWENTY THREE THOUSAND lunches. (And breakfasts. And suppers)

Word of wisdom - divert DH's pension contributions to funding food provision for the next ten years :)

😂😂That is a LOT of meals!!

I was thinking the same, mine are teens/tweens now.

The education is easier when it's all nature walks and reading together BUT you get so much more time to yourself when they sleep til midday 😂
I miss how cheap it was in the early days too!

A look at the relationships board may remove the element of surprise 🙈. A lot of men turn out to be arseholes. A SAHM is financially tied to that type of man in a way that a working Mum is not. Own money = own choices.

I always worry about the lack of shared experiences. One of the main ways I connect with new people is by talking about our common experiences. Especially as a teen and young adult, a lot of that was about school. Whether it was about games we played at lunch, ridiculous uniform rules, your funniest teacher, the dumbest thing you got detention for, the classmate who was always joking around, etc. I'm autistic and struggle with socialising already, without that shared culture I would have been absolutely lost when I first struck out on my own. I know extra-curriculars and hobby groups make up for the base level of socialising, but even then a lot of the talk was about school and they're not nearly as universal an experience. It's not a question as such, but I'd be interested to hear your thoughts and I do wonder if that lack of shared youth culture is something you considered/are considering during the HE process.