I home educate - AMA

[MyFavouriteMugHasCatsOn]

I home educate DD1 who would be in y1 if she was in school. She's never been to school but attended preschool part time and hated it. I also have DD2 age 2 at home with me full time. I am a SAHM and have been since DD1 was born, while DH works full time to support us.

AMA!

I'm not an expert, but I'm also pretty knowledgeable about HE as a whole so if you have any questions about home ed more generally, please go wild!

(I'm starting this thread after having seen quite a few threads lately suggesting HE is tantamount to neglect so I'm braced for judgement! I'm hoping some people might read this and see it's valid and the right choice for some families. It's right for my family but that doesn't mean I think you're wrong if you have chosen to send your children to school.)

This is what I’m interested in too! Mine is in school now but his knowledge of the alphabet etc really went backwards after the birth of his little brother as I just struggled to find the time for things like that.

Maybe it’s easier if the younger child will nap for ages without you being there though, that wasn’t my case 😅

That’s interesting, thank you for clarifying. A friend of mine has a daughter with a similar reaction to preschool at age 2, to the point that my friend (her mum) pulled her out and got her a full-time nanny. Little girl is suspected to be on the spectrum (extremely bright, miles ahead of her peers for some milestones) but undiagnosed. Mum is a working single mum so there was no choice of HE.

Daughter is now 4 and thriving at a pre-prep.

Could you envision a similar outcome for your DD1?

What would happen if DH lost his job and either struggled to find a new one, or found a lower paid which made being a one income household no longer viable?

Also what would happen if you got divorced?

In reception apart from phonics it’s all mainly play based anyway though?

OP I do think you sound really rational and open and it sounds like you’re doing a great job! My eldest has started school
and one thing that’s starting to annoy me is how much he mentions everything they’re learning seems to be on a tv! I think I’d rather he was out counting leaves some days 🤣

My question would be whether you feel a need to ‘celebrate’ or mark occasions that you may not usually but they’d be learning about and covering at school. For example, Diwali, Chinese new year or the harvest festival?

Do you ever worry about the impact these decisions may have on your children when they become adults? I only ask this because my cousins were home educated and both now blame my aunt for not sending them to school. It has damaged their relationships. They always appeared to enjoy HE as children and never asked to go to school. This has only emerged since they reached adulthood.

Why?
home ed was the last option for our DD13 who had an autism breakdown. Even with a degree and PhD I couldn’t home ed her myself so she had tutors in to teach her, paid by the school thankfully! For ‘normal’ children school helps teach softer skills like socialisation, structure they’ll find in jobs later in life and the disconnection of the home to other places, on their own

I love these threads snd admire you a lot. I often fantasise about this - very similar aged kids and sahm.

Do you have a set timetable? E.g. formal learning begins at 9AM, outdoor play, break at 11AM, 5 days a week?

How often are you inspected and in touch with the department of education?

I think that’s why the pension question hasn’t yet been answered twice.
Interestingly, stats show men are far more likely to leave the family unit if their offspring are solely female. I hope OP is switched on financially.

My main question is how you cope with having no time to yourself. My son is very challenging so I really need that break. He also needs constant strict routine.

could you tell us a typical week?

How did you not start school / what was the process and were you supported?

I didn’t see the pension question but would be interested to know that too tbf.

Interesting about the stats

I had considered home educating but probably wouldn't have made the leap had DD1 not hated preschool.

I actually find it easier than I thought to juggle the learning needs of my 2- and 5-year-olds. I make use of every moment DD2 is engaged with something to give DD1 1:1 learning attention. DD2 has a 1.5-2h nap each day where we get a solid chunk of learning done and we also fit it into other bits such as when DH bathes DD2 we'll work then. We also do formal learning over the weekend when DH is about.

But also we do lots of learning all together. I read to both girls at the same time and if DD2 gets bored, she can wander off and play. Lots of stuff is differentiated by outcome, for example today I taught DD1 to use layers of colouring pencil to shade a sphere while DD2 happily drew independently with colouring pencil. The fun side effect is that DD2 has the most RIDICULOUS general knowledge for a young baby. She astonished someone at a museum by pointing out Frida Kahlo, for example 😂

Re: pensions, he isn't. I know it would be a very sensible idea but we're just not rolling in cash at the moment and I'm just making the assumption that our marriage is forever! He's a top bloke and we've been together for half our lives at this point without him giving me any signs he's secretly an arsehole so I'll just have to hope for the best.

I have been working through the Qs one by one!

Sorry not to be able to help with this but because DD is hyperlexic she could read before she started preschool. For focused learning time we get a lot done during naps, at weekends, in the morning before DH starts work and/or when DD2 is breastfeeding, mostly! It's a real juggle though and I'm not looking forward to when she drops her nap.

@LoveHearts69 This answers your Q too!

A) Yes, it is a concern! But because I'm aware of it I'm hoping to take action to mitigate it as she gets older. I'm happy for her to be shielded from it at age 5.

B) There are also plenty of difficult people around when you home ed (her 2yo sis for a start!). Plenty of conflict during playdates and out and about.

I might have considered a very small private school with excellent SEN provision but there isn't really one near us anyway, finances aside. I'm so pleased it worked out so well for your friend's little girl!

Do you offer her all subjects? Music/ computing for examples. Do you have “half terms” etc? Does she not see other children in uniform walking to school and ask where they’re going?

We would be fucked in any of these scenarios! DH is self employed so won't lose his job but I do take your point! I suspect if he couldn't earn enough money for me to stay at home, I'd find a job which earned enough for him to stay at home with the girls or we'd try and find a schedule where we both worked full time.

I don't have a plan for if we got divorced but our marriage is as solid as any I know of. And being brutally honest, if he suddenly started being a bit of a twat I'd probably put up with it to be able to stay home with the girls. Obviously if he was a lot of a twat I'd have to rethink. But luckily he is 0% twat currently, unless you count leaving his running shoes out in the porch so I trip over them...

We have so many ‘home schooled’ children who have returned to us after a few years of ‘home schooling’ and it’s very difficult for them to catch up.

Thank you for answering my question. Good luck! I hope it works out for you and your children. You sound pretty grounded.

It’s really difficult because no doubt OP will expect a full state pension when the time comes. Having been out of work for 20 years.

This is where good teaching comes into play.
Activities that could come from a Nature walk
Identifying different species of trees
Life cycle of plants / animals
how plants / animals reproduce
Mapping
Measuring distance / mass / time
The history of the development of an area (near me the woods were created on old mining land)
History of human movement
Weather patterns
Forest school skills
Stories set in woodlands
Writing stories / factual texts based on local area
Reading transport timetables / setting a budget

The list is endless! By ‘teacher’ I mean anyone who is able to support these activities in a productive way.

No, we did other things too, but I do think learning from nature is a lot more educational than it's being given credit for here. Our nature walk was around a country lane and our local cemetery and there was actually a lot of numeracy involved (admittedly, this was mostly from the cemetery). For numeracy alone we

• Read house numbers (1 and 2 digits for my 2yo, 3 digits for my 5yo)
• Counted the spots on one half of a ladybird and doubled it
• Read the years on gravestones, calculated ages at death

For literacy if my 5yo wasn't already a fluent reader we could have read street signs and writing on gravestones etc, which I think would probably have been an appropriate level of literacy for many y1 kids.

But we also learned from the nature itself - identifying trees from leaves and seeds, talking about seed dispersal methods, noticing the difference between deciduous and coniferous trees and talking about adaptations. This is science that is appropriate far beyond the early years.

And that's just the academics! Nature walks have so many benefits in terms of emotional wellbeing, sensory regulation etc.

If @MyFavouriteMugHasCatsOn is claiming child benefit in her name then that should mean National Insurance credits are being counted towards her state pension entitlement, until her youngest child is 12.