I home educate - AMA

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I home educate DD1 who would be in y1 if she was in school. She's never been to school but attended preschool part time and hated it. I also have DD2 age 2 at home with me full time. I am a SAHM and have been since DD1 was born, while DH works full time to support us.

AMA!

I'm not an expert, but I'm also pretty knowledgeable about HE as a whole so if you have any questions about home ed more generally, please go wild!

(I'm starting this thread after having seen quite a few threads lately suggesting HE is tantamount to neglect so I'm braced for judgement! I'm hoping some people might read this and see it's valid and the right choice for some families. It's right for my family but that doesn't mean I think you're wrong if you have chosen to send your children to school.)

I'm not sure there's anything left to ask as this AMA has been done a lot OP.

ETA: That sounded a bit snippy - sorry. What I mean is if you don't get much interest, this could be why.

I don't have a question, just came here to say I think you're amazing home educating and I personally don't believe any of the negative things people say about HE. Well done x

Have you any teaching qualifications? How long do you plan to HE (would you continue it to high school level??)

I’d love to be able to do it for my two but I’d feel out of my depth with some subjects- languages in particular. Do you plan to get in other tutors to teach areas you can’t? Sorry, lots of questions!!

Ah thank you!

I have a few questions.

Why exactly do you think home education is right for your daughter, and how do you plan to monitor this as she gets older?

How do you ensure that she has adequate contact with other children, including opportunities to forge close friendships based on regular, prolonged exposure?

How do you ensure that she gets input from adults outside of your family and immediate circle of friends so that she can be exposed to different ideas and ways of thinking?

To what extent is it your decision to home educate because that is a lifestyle choice that you prefer, and to what extent are you trying to meet specific needs of your daughter such as SEN?

Will her younger sibling be home educated?

What will you do if either of your children say that they would like to go to school?

ETA one more. How do you assess the quality of the education that you are providing?

Respectfully I can tell you’re not the kind of parent my home ed thread was about (unless you are! But you sound on the ball, and well spoken, so I’m guessing not). We were talking about home educators who think nature walks, crafts and 1 page out of a learning book from WH Smith is sufficient as ‘education’ (if that).

Curious as to how you came to the conclusion that HE is the right fit for your family.

You say your DD1 hated part-time preschool, can you elaborate? Difficulty settling in or something more serious? Did you consider full-time preschool to get her used to the routine?

What about DD2? Did she give preschool a chance or did you decide that both would be HE?

Sorry, one more. How do you ensure that your dd gets adequate time away from you in order to build her own independent identity?

Thank you

I actually started and dropped out of a PGCE in MFL but hated working in secondary schools where so much of the work was box-ticking and behaviour management. However I firmly believe that an intelligent parent who knows their child best will be better equipped for teaching their child than somebody with a teaching qualification and a class of 30.

I used to work as a private tutor teaching GCSE English, maths and French so I'm confident teaching to at least GCSE level. We'll see where we're at by A level if she still wants to be home educated but I'm hoping she'll want to go to 6th form/college. We definitely would consider tutors if I felt out of my depth - I wouldn't be surprised if we got an art tutor in a couple of years as DD is very keen on art and this isn't something I'm great at.

What do you mean you ‘don’t believe them’? Home educators aren’t 1 blob who all educate in the same style and to the same standard.

The consensus seems to be home education is wonderful, if done well, but that every Tom, Dick and Harry are ‘deregistering’ to avoid complying with school formalities and then leaving their kids to play on tablets with the odd craft project or nature walk. A lot of posters were teachers concerned about exactly this.

I always wonder how it would work for secondary age? Would you keep going or send them to school? Possibly a very personal decision but I would worry if dc would adapt to out of home education

What are your reasons? People come at HE for many reasons.

Do you enjoy it?

Do you follow national curriculum or devise your own? Will this change as you get older?

will this be forever do you think?

Very curious. I’d love to home educate, i can see in my mind’s eye exactly how it would all work, how the routine would play out, the groups we’d join. Except i’m a terrible teacher and very impatient so it would never work!!!

Did you intend to home educate or was the decision based on your DD1 not liking pre school?

How do you manage the very different learning needs of a 2 year old and a 6 (I guess) year old during a typical day?

Does your DH pay into a pension for you?

So my daughter was diagnosed with autism at 4.5. We knew when she was 2. She is also hyperlexic so she could read fluently before she started preschool. She is very ahead academically and behind in her social and emotional skills.

At preschool, which she attended for half days, she spent most of the time hiding in a corner or under a table with ear defenders on, or else they called me to come and collect her as she was so distressed. She was so unhappy she wasn't eating or sleeping and having meltdowns all the time. When not attending preschool she was a happy child. It was a no brainer for me.

Socialising: we are in close contact with 3 other home ed families who have 5 year olds (and 3 and 8 year olds) and also see family friends with 2, 4 and 5 year olds. When she finished preschool at 4.5 they also assessed her as working at the level of 18-24m for social and emotional skills so her 2yo sister is a very valid playmate. We have regular playdates and trips out. I believe that playdates where she can be supported to develop her 1:1 friendships is the best possible social education for her.

Adults outside of the house: she has 1:1 swimming lessons where she has developed a good relationship with her teacher. She is also on first name terms with 3 members of staff at our local museum, 1 at our library and 2 bus drivers. She greets adult neighbours by name. She also has a diverse set of opinions from family members she is close to who are very different to me!

Reason for home ed: her SEN plays a massive part but I'd always quite liked the idea of home ed.

I'm going to offer her sister the chance to go to preschool at 3 as I believe preschool is a great opportunity for most kids even if it didn't work for DD1. If she likes it and wants to attend school, I'm open to it, although I'd prefer to home educate her too. I will absolutely take their opinions on how they're educated into account. While they're little, my opinion will hold more weight just as I encourage them to eat more vegetables and bathe more often than they'd choose! I feel like school would be a disaster for DD1 at this point but this could change as she gets older, and I certainly wouldn't stop her attending by secondary age if she wanted to.

The LA has assessed the education I am providing as suitable, but also I assess it myself much in the way I assess my parenting: are the girls thriving? If so I'm doing something right, and if not, I'd look to change things up.

To be fair, today has included a nature walk, craft and a workbook from Amazon! I read your thread and quite a few posters on it thought home ed of ANY kind was failing the children, which is what inspired this.

Also I'm putting off cleaning the kitchen 😂

At preschool, which she attended for half days, she spent most of the time hiding in a corner or under a table with ear defenders on, or else they called me to come and collect her as she was so distressed. She was so unhappy she wasn't eating or sleeping and having meltdowns all the time. When not attending preschool she was a happy child. It was a no brainer for me.

I didn't consider full time preschool because doing more of something she was terribly unhappy doing didn't seem like a good choice!

DD2 is 2 and will be encouraged to try preschool at 3!

I may have missed your answer to this. Does your DH pay into a pension for you?

DD1 is very much her own person and doesn't need any encouragement to develop her own identity 😂She's not really ready at 5 to be very independent from me, and still needs help with toileting and emotional regulation.

However, when we have playdates she will go off to her room with her friend/go to their room, and has developed good relationships with other parents which feel quite separate from my relationships with them. She also as a voracious reader comes across so many ideas that don't come from me.

When she gets older I'll be encouraging her to join clubs (sports/brownies etc) but she's not ready for that yet.

That feels like a problem for later 😂but I'm assuming I'll still be home edding at secondary level. It'll involve a lot more independent work and probably some tutors and a lot more home ed groups. It's a very valid worry about her adapting to life outside of home ed and I will be making sure to make the transition as easy as possible for her.

I’m interested in how you’re teaching your DD to read, especially with a toddler around. I really struggle to do this with my DD(5, in Y1) and I also have a 3 year old.

Mostly SEN but also ideological!

I absolutely LOVE it. I'm doing it because it's best for DD1 but I am so grateful to have this extra time with my lovely girl and to get to be there for the journey as she discovers so many things!

I'm following the NC for maths but she's doing the y2 curriculum not the y1 one. I reference and mostly ignore the NC for literacy. For the rest we mostly do our own thing so we can follow her interests more. This mostly involves going far more in-depth than she ever would in KS1 at school.

I suspect it will be until A levels, or maybe until GCSE.

I'll be back after bedtime to answer more Qs!

Not meant to be goady, but may sound like it.
Do you think your children will be able to cope with ‘ difficult’ people when they are adults? I say this, because my secondary school wasn’t the best, but it did teach me the skills to deal with difficult people. If you children only mix with similar children, how do they learn how to cope with other types of people?

But has it only been those things?

I’ve noticed a lot of referencing ‘learning in nature’ from home ed pages, but this seems to include simply counting leaves or stopping to watch squirrels and having a chat about it. The sort of thing I would consider ‘educational’ at age 2 or 3, but not 5 or 6.

@AgeingMillennial tbh that sounds fine to me from an educational point of view.

It may or may not work from a social point of view but for a five year old that isn’t ‘wrong’.

It is wrong though.

A 3 year old would benefit from pointing at squirrels and counting leaves. A 5 year old wouldn’t because they should already know those things. And repeating them every day (because I don’t see how you can gradually increase the ‘difficulty’ of nature walks) doesn’t build knowledge.