I had post natal psychosis… ama

[coffeemornings]

Shining some light on the condition

I’m sorry to hear you were so unlucky.

How soon after birth did it start? Looking back can you see early signs in the weeks or months leading up- was there any signs when you were pregnant?

a family member has had acute psychosis - it took 2 days to reach the point where they were hospitalised but looking back they can now recognise that they were deteriorating for about 6 months previously.

were the medics who supported you kind?

hope you’re fully recovered 😀

Would you say that you have fully recovered or do you feel changed as a person?

Did it involve delusions at all? I heard of people thinking the baby isn't theirs, or that their partner gave birth instead of them.

How long did it last for, and did you need inpatient treatment?

Thank you for your kind words 😊

within hours of the birth, I wasn’t right and I had a huge emotional breakdown in hospital. It got worse, and a few nights later I was screaming for my husband because I was hearing voices telling me to kill my baby. I was again sent to sleep, but I couldn’t and cried for several hours.

the drs were lovely but didn’t notice the warning signs and sent me home after a day! I eventually was sectioned some time later, and again everyone was lovely to me.

I’m fully recovered - 4 years medication and symptom free.
it was the most traumatic experience of my life and I don’t think I will ever be the same again. Luckily it has made me more empathetic to others’ struggles though I feel.
i had no diagnosis beyond ppp and don’t feel I can ever have another baby again safely. That was also a lot to get my head around

Yes I had severe delusions, believing people were going to kidnap my baby and used to sit outside their room with a knife instead of sleeping to protect them.
it lasted for several months until there was a crisis and I was sectioned. The entire time we were asking for support and kept being told it would take time to settle

I see you’ve already said you don’t feel you could have another baby safely, I was actually going to ask if you have been spoken to about what support might be available in future pregnancies if you did choose to have another? For example I know at least where we are if you have PPD then there is talk of what support would be put in place for a next pregnancy/baby to try and prevent things getting quite so bad, is the same true for PPP, or do you feel the support isn’t adequate?

The family member I mentioned also had delusions which led them to pace the house with a weapon to protect their children - not PPP as they are male- but this was taken incredibly seriously and they were sectioned within days. How heartbreaking they didn’t do the same for you!

Were you allowed to keep your baby with you when you were being treated?

There is medication but it can be harmful to baby. I had a discussion with my psych team, who told me it’s watch and wait and section mum with baby in an mbu if it happens again. I don’t want to go through it again

No and it was so traumatic.

I’m glad he got the help quickly
we visited a and e 4 times but they just said it was lack of sleep. We even hired a nanny for a bit but it made no difference. She reported me to social services because she was so worried, who sent a health visitor to see me, who referred me to a gp. Then the crisis happened (won’t go into it but there was a serious accident) and I was sectioned

this is a very sensible and mature decision. Good for you. Making this decision makes you a brilliant mum to your child.
I am so glad you got the right help and are better now. More needs to be said about PP illness.

Thanks for the thread @coffeemornings - always a great idea to share these experiences.
I had ppd, 40 years ago. There wasn't much awareness/ sympathy for this and sometimes I look back and wonder if I had psychosis.
Reading your posts though, I'm not sure.
I did struggle with him ( normal ppd symptoms) but I also had thoughts of running away - again quite normal for ppd.
I did say to my boyfriend one day that I was going to leave him in the porch and say someone had left him there.
But I was never sectioned or anything.
Sorry you experienced this.

Thank you. That must've been terrifying.

Did they tell you or give you any ways to make sure it doesn't happen again? Is there a danger it can come back even if you've not just had a baby? Are you on meds still?

I was sectioned before it's horrible. But it probably did save my life.

Wishing you the best for the future x

Thank you for your kind words 🫶
I will have to tell my child at some point what happened (in case they have their own children as it can run in families) and it is encouraging to hear things like this

Have you been following the Lyndsey Clancy case? Do you have any thoughts on it if so? (Obviously you may not want to watch it / read about it as I would imagine it could be quite traumatic)

Have you had any longer term support to deal with the trauma of what happened for you?

Thank you for sharing, it's a really important topic and I think there is a lack of understanding.

I wasn’t there when you had it, so I can’t be sure. But mine was terrifying, and I couldn’t sleep or eat, which made the psychosis worse. I ended up trying to kill myself because I believed if I didn’t I would kill my baby. Luckily I was discovered pretty quickly and taken to hospital. I weighed about 7 stone (so had lost around 2 stone in the 2 months pp) and think I’d slept about no more than 2 hours at a time since the birth

I was kept under the hospital psych team for 2 years, with regular check ins. They kept me on anti psychs for 2 years, then tapered. They thought maybe bipolar to begin with; as the two are very linked. But I’d had no issues before and no issues since, and came off medication without issues.
I feel calmer now but the first three years are highest risk so that was terrifying. I am a nutter about sleep and food now too to avoid it again

Yes and I’m so glad my hubby was supportive and didn’t leave me alone with my baby!
it’s horrible to watch. I too asked for help for months and it has been very traumatic watching, so I’ve mostly avoided

Hi OP. I also had post natal psychosis and severe post natal depression. I nearly didn’t survive and was hospitalised. It was the most awful and terrifying experience of my life. I will never have another child (despite always wanting more than one). I’m now 7 years on and completely recovered after amazing support. Like you, I feel I will never fully recover from how utterly awful and scary it was though.

I am so sorry you also went through this but I am very glad you’re doing better now. Sending you lots of love.

Of course you will. And your child should be proud of you, of how you fought to get better to be the best mum to him.

Did you have any history of mental illness before or did this come totally out of the blue? Have you been able to go back to a normal life since? Working, enjoying holidays and hobbies etc?

THe importance of sleep can never be underestimated

Thank you. I'm so pleased you're better now. X